Page 24 of Reckless Hearts

“I know,” she says, lifting her gaze to mine. “And hey, it was fun while it lasted, right?”

“Yeah,” I say, giving her a smile, even if the voice in my head is telling me it was way more than fun. Just like it was way more than just sex. But I can’t admit that to her, not now.

She licks her lips, stepping back as she reaches for her running shorts. “When does Jade get here? I don’t think she’s checked in, right?”

I shake my head, not moving as I watch her get dressed, wishing to fuck I could turn back time to when she was naked beneath me, when I was bare inside her, when the two of us were coming hard. “No, she’s not here until the week before.”

“Good,” she says with a nod. “Guess we’ll get away with it.”

She offers me a small smile before turning and walking out of the bedroom. I quickly grab my shorts, yanking them on as I follow after her. “Alana, wait,” I say, reaching for her arm. “Let me drive you home.”

“It’s fine,” she says, pulling her arm from my grip. “I can run. It’s not far.”

“I don’t want you out there this late by yourself,” I say, knowing I sound way more possessive than I have a right to.

“It’s okay, Flynn,” she says, glancing back at me over her shoulder. “This part of the island is really safe.”

“Alana,” I whisper, closing the distance between us, my hands cupping her face as I drop my forehead to hers. “I’m…”

I don’t even know what I can possibly say, and so instead, I do the one thing I know I shouldn’t. I kiss her, softly, deeply, slowly. Desperately trying to memorize how fucking perfect she feels.

“I’ll see you,” I whisper.

“Bye,” she says before turning and walking out the door.

As soon asthe door closes behind me, I take off in a sprint, tears already beginning to well up in my eyes. I don’t even know why I’m crying. It’s not like we were a couple or anything, just sex. It was just sex, and really good sex, but even that part is over. Despite this, my heart still aches, dull and hurt because maybe I was starting to fall for him.

It doesn’t matter though because it can’t happen. We can’t be anything more than two people who happen to know each other through surfing. That’s it. If this were to get out, we’d both be fucked. The surf commission frowns upon shit like this, seeing it as a pretty big issue. Flynn could have shared training secrets with me. He could have been using me to get Jade ahead in the competition. It would affect not just me, but Flynn too, and possibly Jade, who has nothing to do with this.

Even as I think it, though, it can’t be true. It felt different. It felt real and honest, and nothing like he was using me. But it still hurts, and it can’t continue if I want to compete at Maui Pipe.

Pushing away the tears with my fingers, the road blurry in front of me, I think back to the conversation Flynn and I had, theone when I mentioned Jade, and his instant response was that she wasn’t very good.

Why would he say something like that? She’s one of the best, and he’s her coach. You’d think he’d be singing her praises, bragging about how he helped put her on the map. Her skills are unmatched, and while I get that some of it is just talent, he’s done his fair share too.

When I finally hit the gravel driveway, my chest is heaving, and my breathing is labored. I’m hit with this mix of anger and guilt and hurt. But more than that, I already miss him.

Unlocking the front door, I see Sloane curled up on the couch, a textbook beside her, a highlighter in her hand.

She’s waiting up for me. It’s something she’s always done, unable to sleep until we’re all home and in bed. It’s sweet, but it also breaks my heart a little. She worries too much, her past always there in the back of her mind.

“Hey, how was your run?” she asks, closing the book, capping the highlighter. And when I plop down beside her, she narrows her eyes, taking in my face. “Were you crying?” It’s a question asked with deep sincerity and love. She cares so much about everyone else, and that’s part of the reason why she lives with Daisy and me for less than the two of us pay in rent. I can’t bring myself to charge her more, knowing she needs us.

“No,” I immediately say, but she tilts her head to the side, hitting me with a look that says she knows I’m lying.

But I can’t tell her why I’m upset. I can’t risk any of this going public, and even though I trust Sloane wholeheartedly, it’s still something I need to keep to myself.

“I’m just overwhelmed,” I finally admit, and it’s partially true, even as I shake my head. This isn’t how I am. I don’t get wrapped up in drama or worry about shit. “You know, the competition and Mitch, and finally making a decision.”

“You still okay going out tomorrow?” she asks, her words a little quieter now. “It’s okay if you’re still struggling. It’s hard.”

“Nah, I’m good, and yes, we’re going out tomorrow. I have to get back in the water if I want to have a chance at placing.”

As much as I’m upset with how things have gone down with Flynn, it’s also made my desire to compete stronger. I want him to watch me out there, a reminder of all he’s missing out on. Not that he has a choice, but still. It’s petty, but I want to win. I want to beat Jade Whitlock because she’s the reason I’m missing out on great sex and a possible future with Flynn. Okay, maybe it’s not Jade’s fault, but I need someone to blame.

“I know you’ve heard this a million times, but Mitch would have hated to see you give up. I know that Daisy and I are not on the same level as Mitch was, but we will do whatever you need. We will be here to help you.”

Sloane’s words come out sweet and calming. Ihaveheard it a million times, and I know Mitch would have lost his fucking mind if he knew I was thinking about quitting, but it still doesn’t make it any easier. The best part of all of this, of deciding I’m going to do this, is that I get to spend my time training with my best friends. There is no one who believes in me more than they do. I’m truly lucky.

---