Page 91 of Season of Gifts

“We’ll keep a space warm for you.”Jay unzipped the duffel bag at the end of the row.“First night for all three of us together in way too long.”

They expected—of course they did.Why wouldn’t they?

Alice was watching him with curious eyes again.“When you get back, we can get cozy and talk.I love falling asleep to the sound of your voices.”

“There’s—” He could manage an hour, at most, before the urge to confirm Mother’s health would drive him out of bed, again and again.He’d tested it many times.“There’s no need to wait for me.You both must be exhausted, and I’ll only disturb your sleep each time I rise to check on Mother.Please, get your rest.I’ll see you both in the morning.”

He slipped out without waiting for their reactions.He could do nothing about them now.He had a chair and a blanket waiting for him, and a night’s worth of breaths to count as he dozed.

Chapter forty-six

Alice

Whattheactualfuck.

That man, the one who’d barely spent ten minutes greeting them like fucking strangers before bolting from the room?That was not the Henry that Alice had married.Two weeks apart, and this was the welcome they got?

She barreled toward the door after him.Something was wrong in this house, something beyond his mom’s illness.And he was gonna fucking tell her right this—

“What just happened?”Jay, thin-voiced, sank onto the bed beside his bag.His shoulders curled in on him.All the excitement, the joy, she’d stoked in him for the last six hours—drained.Flushed away in an instant.

She couldn’t leave him here alone, not even to chase down their husband and shake sense into him.

“I…” She’d miscalculated, that’s what.Had she been too naïve, imagining that their presence would be enough?That their touch could glue the stress fractures Henry had built up in the days of worry and caretaking and responsibility too big for one person’s shoulders.He’d so patiently glued together the engineering mug Ollie had given her, taking the matching edges she’d identified and carefully holding them together.She was doing the same.So how come when he did it, she got a pristine mug back, and when she tried it, she got a Henry radiating more cracks by the minute?“I honestly don’t know.”

Settling beside Jay, she curled her hand in his and rested them on her thigh, fingers interlaced.Just touching him soothed her.Henry hadn’t given them enough time to hold him.Things must be worse than he’d admitted, and now she and Jay were on the “them” side of the us-and-them.They would have to remind him that the three of them were anus.That he could rely on them, trust in them—fall apart in front of them.

Fucking fuck.She hadn’t told him she and Jay were there to support their husband, not demand attention from their dominant.She’d trusted he would know that instinctively, despite all the times she’d heard him talk about the biggest stumbling block in power exchange relationships: expecting a mind reader.“I think he needs our help more than he knows, but we might have to work to get him to see that.”

Jay tipped his head against hers.“I’m not afraid of work.”

But he was at least a little afraid of the unfeeling Henry they’d just witnessed.The strain twitched in his shoulders and his tapping toes.

She angled into a hug, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing.He’d gotten one from Henry.She’d been too worried about how Henry would react to her secret-keeping to ask for one.Now she wouldn’t get the chance to tell him anything tonight, and she couldn’t blame him when his mom was so fragile.Worse, she’d amped up Jay’s expectations and failed to deliver.“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

Jay toppled onto the comforter, taking her with him, his arms two bands across her back at shoulders and hips.“Why are you sorry?”

Burrowing her face against his neck, she inhaled a mix of Jay-ness and Henry’s citrus, the soap she’d used on him hours ago.She’d hoped that tonight they’d purge the pain of two weeks apart and get straight to work on answers for the long run.But she’d gotten the temperature wrong.Shattered the thermometer, and all the little beads of mercury were rolling around inside her, shiny and deadly, poisonous secrets and should-haves and white lies about how everything was fine.They weren’t fucking fine.

“I said we’d all be together tonight.That was a promise I couldn’t keep.”Exactly the kind of thing a dominant wasn’t supposed to do.Why hadn’t she been more careful?“I shouldn’t have made the promise without knowing I could make it happen.”

A scoffing breath fluttered through her hair.“You flew back early from your trip, and you rented a car, and you packed all our stuff, and I bet you did a bajillion other things, too.Everything you could make happen, you did.Besides—” Jay nudged them sideways, his arms locked tight around her.Their feet dangled off the bed, shoes and all.“You’ll still be sleeping next to me tonight, right?”

If they didn’t get up and get ready for bed in the next two minutes, she might still be lying in this exact position in eight hours.“You’ll have to pry me off you with a crowbar in the morning.”

“So that makes it a thousand times better than the last four nights.”Jay’s lighthearted tone sailed on the ocean of angst he’d been navigating all week.“I’m disappointed that we don’t know what’s up with Henry yet and how to help him, but I’m not disappointed with you.Getting here was step one.Go brush teeth or whatever, and finally having a good night’s sleep can be step two.”

She planted soft kisses along his jaw.They’d pooled their knowledge in the car and dissected what they knew about the situation, but this emotional maturity from Jay was a gift.He’d struggled with ups and downs all week, he’d said.“How are you so wise?”

“Well, I do have like seventeen months on you.”He lightly patted the back of her head.“You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“I sure hope so.”Tears burned in her eyes as she poured her gratitude into a true kiss.Jay worried so much about being needy, but he gave more than he took every damn time.Pulling Henry out of survival mode would demand a lot from both of them.Which meant they should get started on step two.Disentangling herself, she sneaked in another handful of kisses.

With pajamas piled on the nightstand and no sign of Henry returning, they turned out the light.Alice couldn’t possibly sleep, not with her mind racing, but Jay draped himself against her back like a heated blanket.The cozy weight sank into her skin, all through her muscles, and sent sleepiness through her veins.

Hours passed between one heartbeat and the next.Sunlight spilled through gauzy curtains.Jay hadn’t pushed off and bellyflopped in his nightly search for a cool spot; his steady breath warmed the back of her neck.

Alice twisted carefully.The far edge of the bed lay undisturbed, the ripples in the sheets only flowing out from her and Jay.But the bag they’d brought for Henry gaped open, unzipped, at the foot of the bed.He’d been feet away sometime in the night and left again without waking them.Changed clothes for the day and let them slumber.

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