Page 41 of Broken King

“I don’t think so,” I say as I turn back toward the window and see Kate walk onto the pool deck.

“Why not? It’s hot out, and I’m sure you’re sick of sitting in the house doing nothing. Aren’t you?”

Now I shrug, not because I actually like hiding out here like some kind of freak who can’t go out in public, but because no matter what I say to explain what I’m feeling, he won’t understand. I’m not like him. I never was, but now it’s different.

I’m not like anyone else either.

“You should,” he says, continuing to push like he always has. “You and Ava get along, and I know you like Kate. You seem to have formed some kind of friendship with Sabrina too, so why not join them?”

Spinning around, I snap, “Because I don’t want to! Stop bothering me about this. I’m not like you. I’m fine with being alone inside the house here.”

Matthias steps back in surprise at my outburst but doesn’t stop his pushing. “I’m just trying to help, Ronan. I don’t want to see you wither away here when you have your whole life ahead of you.”

I lift my right arm up in front of him. “My whole fucking life? I have nothing ahead of me. Everything there was for me to look forward to is gone. So don’t give me your bullshit about having my whole life ahead of me.”

As usual, pity fills his eyes, something I hate more than anything else. I can handle anything but pity.

But then my oldest brother surprises me with a little anger of his own.

Taking a step toward me, he stops just inches away. “Nobody’s trying to make you do anything. We all just want to help you. You do have your whole life ahead of you, whether you want to believe it or not. Ava and I wanted you to stay here with us because we were afraid you might try to hurt yourself again if you stayed in your apartment. We’re not asking for a medal or anything, but could you try to remember we fucking care?”

He doesn’t give me a chance to reply, even though I’m not sure what I’d say, and spins on his heel to march toward the hallway on his way to his office for that meeting. I get I’m not exactly the best houseguest, but what the fuck? He acts like I want to be stuck inside here watching the only woman I ever loved outside having fun when all I wish I could do is talk to her.

I take one last look at Kate as she dangles her feet in the shallow end of the pool. She always was timid about swimming. Any time she and I would spend the day at the pool here when we were together, it would take her forever to finally get her whole body in the water.

She’s like that with everything, though. Cautious to extremes, she prefers to stand on the sidelines as other people blaze a trail ahead of her. She hates that she’s like that too, and I can see by her tiny frown that hasn’t changed, but I never had a problem with her being so timid. I was brash enough for both of us.

I hold Kate’s hand and feel it getting sweatier by the second. She has no reason to be nervous. I’d never let anything hurt her.

“Ronan, please. It’s okay. We don’t have to do this. We can just go back to the lodge. I actually could really use a hot chocolate right about now,” she says, her teeth chattering with every syllable.

Looking around at the top of the slope, I watch as everyone passes us and eagerly attacks the hill. “You have to get down to the lodge anyway, so why not try to enjoy yourself?” I ask with a smile.

Her blue eyes grow big, and for the fifth time, she looks down the hill with nothing but pure terror in them. Shaking her head, she tightens her hold on my hand.

“I can’t. I told you I didn’t know how to ski. Why couldn’t you just let me be my non-skiing self?”

I hear tears in her voice, so I lean over and kiss her softly. “It’s okay. I promise you’re going to have a good time. Just stick with me, and you’ll be fine.”

“No, I’ll be dead.”

“You won’t be dead. So you fall? No big deal. I promise if I see you fall, I’ll fall too. Then the two of us can slide down the hill on our asses. Come on. Take a deep breath, tell yourself you’re going to be fine, and stay with me, okay?”

Once again she turns to look at the hill we need to ski down and shakes her head. “What if I break my leg? Are you going to take care of me day and night if I can’t walk? See, that’s what I’m afraid of. I’ll break my leg, and then I’ll be stuck at home until spring comes.”

I love every part of her, including her wild imagination. “I promise that if you break your leg, which you won’t, but if you do, I’ll wait on you hand and foot the entire time you can’t walk.”

Kate levels her suspicious gaze on me. “You know, if I get hurt, we won’t have sex for God only knows how long. Ever think of that?”

I’m an eighteen-year-old guy. All I think of is sex. I can barely be near Kate without wanting to get her alone.

“You have no idea what even being around you makes me want to do, so yes, I think of sex with you. You’re not going to get hurt.”

She still isn’t convinced, and we’re never going to get down this hill at this rate. Time for me to break out the big guns.

I set my hands on her shoulders and stare into her eyes. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course, I do,” she answers with an eyeroll.

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