Page 42 of Broken King

“No, I mean really trust me. Like you believe in your heart I’d never let anything hurt you level of trust.”

“Ronan, I do trust you. I would never have come on this skiing trip if I didn’t.”

“Then I’m going to let go of you, and you’re going to ski down this hill. It’s just a medium size hill. You made it down the baby slope fine. You can do this.”

That gets me a pretty pout I secretly love. “The baby slope was for babies, Ronan. This is for people who know how to ski, which isn’t me.”

We’ve been standing here for ten minutes already. If we keep talking about skiing instead of actually skiing, she’ll never conquer her fears.

The time has come for us to get down this hill.

I slip my gloves back on and set my poles in the snow. “We need to get to that lodge for some hot chocolate. Get ready.”

She tries to fight me even more, but as soon as she gets her gloves on, I know we can go. I give her a tiny push, and she screams like I just set her on fire.

“Ronan! Nooooooo!”

There’s no turning back now, so I follow her, catching up pretty quickly. Side-by-side, we ski down the mountain slower than I’ve ever moved on skis in my life. She doesn’t fall,surprisingly, and even though she looks completely petrified every time I look over at her, she makes it down like a champ.

We reach the bottom, and now that we’ve conquered what I imagine will be the only adult hill we’ll tackle today, I stop next to her and give her a kiss. “You did great! You didn’t fall once, and you made it down in one piece. You want to go again?”

Instantly, I see by the look of horror on her face that I’m pushing my luck, so I smile and say, “Then hot chocolate it is.”

“If you want to go again or hang out with your brothers, I’ll be fine. I just can’t do this.”

I kiss her again. “You already did, but it’s okay. I don’t want to be with them today. I’m fine curling up with you and some hot chocolate in the hotel room.”

She gives me a knowing look and starts removing her skis. “You just want to get to the room to have sex. I’ll be lucky if I get a sip of hot chocolate before you make a move. I know you, Ronan King.”

There’s no doubt if I’m not skiing that I’d like to be in bed with her. I’m a red-blooded American male with the only girl I want in the entire world.

“I promise you can drink a whole hot chocolate before I make any moves. Deal?”

Kate looks at me with her typical sweetness and kisses me, her cold nose touching mine. “Deal.”

I lie back on my bed as the memory of our one and only ski trip together slowly fades away. We did get hot chocolate, but Theo sidetracked us with whatever girl he was with that weekend so we didn’t get back to our hotel room for a couple hours.

And just as Kate suspected, I couldn’t wait to be with her as soon as we were alone.

More than once, Kellen and Marius asked me why I didn’t want to find girls who were more like me. They thought I neededsomeone more adventurous who would be a good time, but I told them the same thing every time they said that.

I don’t need someone like me. All I need is Kate.

Never once did I regret that choice. When I was with her, I felt like I was in the only place in the world I belonged. She accepted me for who I was, and I loved her for who she was.

When I was with Kate, I was home in every sense of the word.

Regret fills me for what I did to ruin what we had. Why did I go with that girl who meant nothing to me when I had the one for me already? Every time I’ve asked myself that question, I’ve lied and told myself I was lonely and it wasn’t a big deal. So I went with someone else one time? We could have gotten past that if she just realized I’d never do it again.

That answer worked for a long time, but now it rings hollow. It was wrong to think cheating on her wasn’t important. She trusted me, and I blew it. I took that trust and threw it away for one lousy night with someone who was available and meant nothing to me.

God, I was stupid.

When I had my whole life to look forward to, as Matthias likes to say, I could lie to myself and think I didn’t miss Kate and all we had together. She went on with her life, and I went on with mine.

Even though I never really moved on.

But now that I have nothing to look forward to, I understand. I had everything once. I had someone who loved me not for what I could do or how much money I had but for me.

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