Page 46 of Tempted By Sin

“Okay, Pae, I’ve updated you on my life, so it’s your turn. How is your mom? Liam? Your stalker?”

My body stiffens at the mention of Liam and Ace practically in the same sentence. Raya picks up on the reaction because her eyes widen, but she can’t comment on it when the worker walks over with her shoes.

I use this time to decide what I should tell her about Liam and Ace. Should I tell her the truth or keep a lot of the details to myself? The only problem with lying to her is that she can see straight through any lie I tell. Nothing gets past her.

So, I have no choice but to tell her the truth.

When the worker walks away, Raya raises a brow at me. “Spill, Pae.”

I blow out a long breath. “Okay, well, Mom is doing good. I had a call with her doctor this morning, and he said she’s responding to the treatment well. Liam and I haven’t spoken in a week after he accused me of cheating on him, and it happened to be the same night I slept with my stalker… again.”

The words tumble from my mouth, and I’m helpless to stop them.

Raya’s jaw pops open as she stares at me, wide-eyed. Her body is still as she gapes at me, at a loss for words.

“I know what you’re going to say. I know. What I did is fucked up, and Liam has every right to be pissed with me, but he has been cheating on me for months. I’m not saying it to justify my actions, but I don’t want to be perceived as the only bad guy in this situation.”

She swallows hard, regaining her composure after the bomb I just dropped. Raya stands and grabs my hands, holding them tightly in hers. “Pae… woah, that was a lot. But I don’t think you’re a bad person for what you did.”

My heart thumps harshly in my chest. “You don’t?”

Raya shakes her head, strands of strawberry blonde hair flying around her face. “No, I don’t. I know I told you to stay away from your stalker because he sounds dangerous, but there must be a reason you gravitate toward him.”

“I don’t know why I can’t stay away from him,” I admit quietly. “I mean, yes, he’s insanely attractive, but I feel safe when I’m with him like nothing or no one can hurt me. And when I’m with him… he makes me feel alive.”

“Has Liam ever made you feel either of those things?”

I shake my head without hesitation. “I know what I’m doing is wrong and fucked up, but it’s as if my body is demanding one thing and my heart is slowly giving in to that desire. I shouldn’t even be thinking of the notion of choosing between my fiancé and my stalker because the right answer is staring me in the face, but it’s not what I want.”

“What do you want, Pae?” Raya asks, her voice gentle.

“I want a partner who will protect me and put me first.” The admission shocks me, making my heart beat faster. I’ve never admitted out loud how I wish Liam was more of the manly type who would do anything to ensure my safety instead of having someone else look out for me. But after meeting Ace, and knowing the lengths he will go to in order to keep me safe, it’s something I desire. I know I can look after myself, but having a partner who is willing to go the extra mile for you and put you ahead of everything and everyone makes my stomach flip excitedly.

“If I leave Liam…” I swallow hard, the words getting caught in my throat, “I won’t be able to care for my mother. It’s not something I can afford with my salary, and the last thing I want is to jeopardize my mom’s health. But Ace… at the end of the day, he’s a criminal, and that’s not something I should get myself mixed up in either, no matter what he makes me feel.”

Raya nods, understanding the predicament I’m in. “It doesn’t help that you're a somewhat well-known face in New York with Liam running for office, so there is the added element of causing a media storm. And if you get involved with this Ace guy, you could be walking into a very dangerous world that could land you in some trouble.”

She hit the nail on the head with that one.

“No matter who I choose, there isn’t going to be a great outcome for me.”

Raya smiles, the gesture laced with empathy. “I suppose it will come down to who you want more, and you can make your decision from there. But it’s not something you have to do right now, okay? Let’s keep shopping and forget about men.”

I swallow hard and nod. Although, now that I’ve opened the can of worms that is the shit show of my life, I’m unsure if I can stuff them back inside and forget about them. But I’m sure as hell going to try.

Raya purchases the shoes, giddy as a kid on Christmas morning. When we step out of the store, arms linked, I’m immediately blinded by flashing lights. I stumble back, held up by Raya, and try to adjust my eyes to whatever light is shining in my eyes.

“Paetyn, how are you doing after the kidnapping?”

“Have they found the man who did this to you?”

“How has your fiancé Senator Aster been supporting you through this terrible time?”

“How did Senator Aster find you? Is he your hero?”

“Do you have any comments on your fiancé’s campaign?”

My blood runs cold as I realize what is happening. Their voices rain down on me like a thunderous storm, threatening to consume me. I haven’t had to deal with the media since the kidnapping because Liam was right there to distract them by answering their questions on my behalf. I’m not suitable to be in front of a camera because I tend to freeze up like I am right now, unable to speak.

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