Page 117 of Revenge

Fear ofneverseeing Kai again. Fear of my heartneverbeing whole again.

Loving someone to find out they don’t love you back has got to be one of the worst things that can happen to a person.

I knew Kai cared about me. Just not enough.

How had I gotten it so wrong? If you loved someone, youdidn’tlet them go.

Not even to protect you?

No!

Rubbing my hand over my face, I attempted to ward off the chaos in my brain. It was almost like two people were having a conversation up there; like my internal monologue had split and was standing in two different corners. I was at war with myself whilst riding an emotional rollercoaster to hell.

I glanced around the plane, feeling anxious and alone. The flight attendants had been professional as they had welcomed me on board. The captain introduced himself before I was shown to my seat. As I had shaken his hand, I forced my mask into place. I didn’t wantanyoneto know of or see my pain. All it would take was one sympathetic gesture and I would fall apart.

“Miss Cawthorne, please fasten your seatbelt, we will be taxiing towards the runway in around five minutes. Our in-flight services will be available, once the aircraft has reached a cruising altitude. If there is anything you need, please use the call button.”

If there is anything I need? If I pressed it, would Kai appear?

“Thank you,” I replied. She was dressed smartly and was incredibly welcoming. As she smiled and walked away, I glanced around the cabin.

The private jet was small from the outside but surprisingly spacious inside. The seats were cream leather and if I had been having a normal day, I would have enjoyed the comfort. I’d never even flown business class and I suspected this was even more superior. A thought occurred to me. Was this the plane I had been taken aboard when I was unconscious and pumped full of drugs?

I tried to keep hold of that thought, bearing in mind it showedexactlywhat Kai was capable of, but it made little difference. My heart had chosen and that was that.

The captain’s voice came over the Tannoy, explaining that the weather conditions were good and how high we would be flying. Considering I was the only passenger, I was surprised they bothered, but I supposed the crew would follow their usual protocols.

The engines started up, thatroarechoing the sound of the blood rushing in my ears at the thought of the plane taking mehundredsof miles away from Kai. The pain of that thought was like falling on broken glass.

Kai. The love of my life.

Fuck.

As we started moving, I saw two flight attendants at the front of the plane. They were whispering. The door to the cockpit opened and another pilot, different to the captain spoke with them.

I glanced out the window, tears falling down my cheeks. They stung my skin like acid.

I could see parts of the small private terminal as the plane started to taxi towards the runway. The jet slowly started to pick up speed and the cabin rattled. The fasten your seatbelt sign pinged on above me; almost like a beacon of inevitability.

That’s it, I was leaving London.

Goodbye, Kai.

I glanced down at my bare finger, it felt naked without Kai’s ring. Part of me wanted to keep it, but I knew I would find it too painful. Each time I saw it would be a memory better left buried.

A strange noise sounded from the front of the aircraft. Like an alarm. I shifted my gaze, but the staff didn’t seem too bothered. I was a nervous flyer, and always watched for the expressions on the cabin staff. If they looked panicked, I knew I had cause to be.

I heard a bang and then there was a commotion towards the front of the plane. The cockpit door was open and I could see millions of tiny lights, buttons and dials. The flight attendants were about to secure themselves into their jump seats.

Closing my eyes, I leaned back into my seat. I needed to sleep; I was exhausted.

And the first thing I saw washisface; Kai.

My heart lurched in my chest at the same time the aircraft shook violently, and my eyes flew open. Grabbing the armrest of my seat, I heard what sounded like the engines powering down.

Shooting another look down the aisle, both flight attendants had unfastened their seatbelts, puzzled looks on their faces. It was then that I realised the plane had stopped.

Then the captain’s voice came over the speaker which caused me to look to where the sound was coming from.

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