Page 28 of The Long Game

He backs me up against the front door and his toned body- built for speed and agility presses firmly into me.

My hands let go of his neck and begin to lift under his shirt, gliding over his stomach and up to his pecks. His chest vibrates as he growls again, deep within his rib cage. It’s like the rumbling of the lion, giving a warning to back away before he pounces, sinking his sharp white teeth into the flesh of my body. But I want it. I want his teeth on me more than I want my next breath.

Just as I reach his chest, he picks me up effortlessly and guides his hips between my shaky thighs. He grinds his perfect erection against my center. The yoga pants I’m wearing leave little to the imagination. I gasp at how incredible he feels.

To be held in his strong arms like I weigh nothing. To be kissed like I’m the only girl he’s ever truly wanted. To feel the ridge of his perfect head through his gym sweats as it glides between my thighs. I want him to sink into me. I want him to take my virginity because I know no other man would do it as good as he would. I want him to do it tonight.

It won’t be a start to anything, I know. It will be goodbye. I can’t think of a better way to say goodbye to Tucker Evans than to give him this one parting gift.

"Oh, God," I say as he changes the angle of the way he’s rubbing me through our clothes.

I’m barely hanging on at this point. A sensation unfamiliar is building low in my stomach. Pulsing desire throbs between my legs. A feeling I’ve never explored completely before.

I’d heard of masturbation but mostly from the male perspective. And since I lack any other type of experience due to my two very own cockblocks at school (Luca and Tucker), I’ve never experienced an orgasm. If this is what’s about to happen, I’ll be mortified if I come like this."Does that feel good, baby?" he asks as his tongue travels down my neck.

"Yes," I moan.

I hear his teeth grind at my response like he’s doing everything in his power to keep his control.

"Should we go upstairs?" I ask in my sex-brained fluster.

My words must hit the "off" switch because his deep, dark honey eyes soften back to their usual color, and I know I’m losing him.

He slowly releases the grip he has on my thighs. My body begins to slide down the length of his. I feel every muscle of hisbody as mine glides along them. I close my eyes as the journey down his body continues to spark every nerve ending to life. I feel as though I might combust.

When I open my eyes, his eyes are fixated on me. Like he’s been watching every facial expression I make.

I’m back on my feet but he hasn’t stepped away from me yet. His body still pressed into me. His erection still reaching out for me. Maybe there’s still hope. Maybe he won’t leave if I beg.

"I should leave."

"No!" I plead.

"If I stay Lex, I’ll do something I can’t undo."

"Tucker, please don’t go."

But it’s no use. He turns for the doorknob again.

"Good luck with your internship, Lex. Lock the door behind me." He walks out and closes the door behind him so I don’t follow.

Tucker

I stand on the other side of the door waiting to hear it lock behind me. My hopeful imagination has me seeing her open the door and begging me to come back inside.

I should leave the front porch because I know the sound of the deadbolt engaging is going to feel like someone dunked me into an ice bath. And I also know my self-control is wearing thin. Especially now that I’ve had another taste of her and it’s exactly how I remember it – pure fucking heaven.

I didn’t say any of the things I came here to say. It’s not like me to not leave it all on the field.

I want to knock on the door and ask to stay the night – sleep with her in my arms – wake up tomorrow morning with a physical confirmation that Lexi is healthy and breathing, not at the bottom of the lake, the place my nightmares want me to believe.

I had another nightmare last night.

Every time the nightmare comes, it’s the same. I don’t get to Lexi fast enough. She inhales too much water. I pull her onto the dock and lay her flat on her back while I attempt CPR and compressions, but CPR fails. In my dream, Luca isn’t there to help me — no one is.

After I finally give up lifesaving attempts, it’s just her lifeless body and me, silent on the dock. It ends the same way each time; I can’t change the outcome. God knows I’ve tried like hell to change the ending. I pull her back into my arms, holding her tight against my chest as I kiss her head where it connected with the staircase.

I pull us back to the edge of the dock while she’s cradled protectively in my arms. Even though in my dream, she’s already dead, she whispers something to me, and I nod and say something back. I never hear what we say to each other.

---