Page 42 of Ambush

He grinned. “You think I made it to thirty years old without having essential oils rubbed on my chest and that air diffuser going? I’m used to it.”

She chuckled. “How’d you get so easygoing? Was it losing your dad at such a young age?”

“My mom would tell you I came from the womb without a wail and she never heard me cry until I fell off the bed at six months old.” He shrugged. “I think she’s exaggerating. I remember a lot of times growing up when I was watching her struggle to make ends meet and I wanted to make things easier somehow. I thought if I never complained or cried, it would be easier for her. I’m not sure that’s true, and it probably set me back some in life. The squeaky wheel gets the oil, you know? I might havemoved up the food chain in the Marines if I’d been the type to be career focused.

“When I became a Christian at twelve, I started on a journey of trying to be truthful about everything. There were some conflicts during those years until I figured out Jesus didn’t need me to tell Mom she was getting lines around her eyes or to tell my best friend he was a blockhead.” He barked out a laugh. “Live and learn.”

She stared down at her hands. “I think you’re pretty perfect, you know.”

He almost didn’t hear the softly spoken words, and he wasn’t sure how to answer. He was far from perfect, but he wanted to be that way, at least in her eyes. “Hardly perfect. Think back to your fifteen-year-old self and channel that earlier rage. You’ll remember all the ways I failed you.”

She gave the chair a gentle rock and didn’t look at him. “Teenagers don’t need to be taught stupid. Their hormones do the talking.”

What did she mean by that? Did she mean their teenage obsession with each other was only hormones? It hadn’t been on his part. Even if she hadn’t realized it yet, they were bound together in their teens, and that bond had never really been severed.

Chapter 20

A tiger roared in the distance, and Paradise turned her attention that direction. She couldn’t see the big cats from the porch, and that was a good thing. The sun touched the landscape with a warm glow of orange and gold. Her headache was mostly gone, but she still felt a little dizzy and disoriented. The doctor had said that sensation would pass.

“That was Hez on the phone,” Blake said.

She listened to him recount the news about finder’s fees and questionable practices. “So it could be anyone in the area doing this.”

“Maybe. Hez is concerned about the attacks being so clearly targeted at me. He wanted me to think about any enemies from my past.”

“Your mom and I were talking about that too.”

He sent a crooked grin her way. “Uh-oh. It’s always dangerous when the women in a guy’s life gang up on him.”

Warmth spread up her chest. He considered her a woman in his life. “She said there was an incident in Afghanistan that still bothered you. Could you have an enemy from there? I don’tknow details, and maybe you don’t want to talk about it, but I thought you should at least consider it.”

He rubbed a crease between those clear blue eyes. “She knows I don’t like to talk about it. I lost my best friend that day.”

“You don’t have to tell me.”

He turned a vulnerable gaze her way and said nothing for a long moment. Then he sighed, hunching his shoulders. “Maybe it would help to talk about it. Kent was a fellow medic. He was on his way to attend to injuries in a car crash. He was tending to a woman and a bomb went off in a vest she wore under her clothes.”

Paradise winced. How could a suicide bomber look someone in the eye and detonate a bomb?

Blake’s eyes were haunted and in a faraway place. “He wasn’t killed but extremely critical. He was going to lose at least one leg, but he required plasma as soon as I got the bleeding stopped. He was blood type O positive and I gave him AB negative. He had a major hemolytic transfusion reaction. His kidneys failed, and he died.” Blake released a pained sigh.

Tears filled her eyes, and she reached over to hold his hand. “You were trying to save his life. It could have happened to anyone in the frantic push to save him.”

“Another medic had brought the bags of blood to me, but I should have double-checked labels. It wasn’t until I was removing the bag to give him another unit that I realized the error. I did everything I could to save him but failed.”

“It sounds like he might have died no matter what you did.” She wished she could offer more comfort than holding his hand.

“There’s no way of knowing for sure, but he was my friend and I failed him.” He squeezed the bridge of his nose.

She clung to his hand more tightly. “I’m sorry, Blake. I can tell you loved him. It doesn’t sound like you made any enemies from that.”

He lowered his head and shook it. “His twin brother would fit that bill. He was there and saw what happened. I receive angry letters from him about every three months. He’s still in a lot of pain.”

“Have you ever talked to the medic who brought you the wrong bags in the first place? Does he get letters too?”

“I’ve never asked. Ultimately, it was my fault. I don’t blame him for making a mistake in the heat of the battle.”

“And you shouldn’t blame yourself either. The same circumstances apply to you too. I wish you could forgive yourself as easily as your God forgives you.”

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