Page 86 of Shadow's Heart

“I have it on good authority that I’d be a horrible father.”

“Who told you that?” She was livid on his behalf.

“No one in particular. Just a consensus over the years. And they weren’t wrong. After my parents’ treachery, I never put another’s needs before my own. I know little about fatherhood, but I believe you must put a child before yourself.”

“I’m so sorry yours didn’t.”

Resentment crossed his expression. “I don’t want your pity. I had enough of that as an . . . an Inferi.” The scars ran so deep that he could barely say the word all these years later. “Which is why I didn’t want to tell you.”

“I’m not pitying you. I’m feeling for you. Your pain has become my own.”

He studied her face, must be searching for a lie—one she could never give him.

Catharsis.

Was bullshit.

Silt had said the words aloud, giving Kosmina what she wanted. For better or worse, he’d acknowledged what had made him the man he was today, and she’d accepted it.

But he didn’t feel any better. A secret like his wasn’t steam to be released from a valve; it was a bruise best left untouched.

Uneasiness rippled through him at this vulnerability. He’d sworn to never again open himself up to the possibility of betrayal—yet he’d just dropped his shield and bowed his chest. Comprehension hit him: if Kosmina betrayed him too, he would not recover. . . .

He reminded her, “Now it’s time for you to keep your end of the bargain. You’re to tell me something you’ve never said to another.”

“Very well.” She held his gaze with unblinking eyes. “Sorcerer, my heart is open to you forever.” Such simple words—accompanied by an innocent caress across his cheek—fuckingfelledhim.

He pulled her closer, inhaling the scent of her hair and relishing her breaths on his marked chest. While he’d been so mired in retribution and then conquest, he hadn’t seen what was right before him—the most remarkable female he’d ever encountered. And he was winning her heart.

Yet nothing was pure. She felt this way because she didn’t know about his latest lie. He’d taken something beautiful—her own trust—and tainted it.

Silt sullied. That was what it always did. Whathedid.What he would still do.

He stared at that ceiling and knew:I’m no better than my parents.

In time, she drifted off once more, wrapped in his arms. Considering her attack earlier, he remained awake. Drinking from his flesh regularly was the last viable option open to them, with all the risk that entailed.

He’d always envied Kosmina’s focus, but now focus only illuminated a shit situation.Fucked as fucked can be.

Forty

Out of time.

Awakening alone, Mina had risen and stared in horror at her reflection, at her eyes.

Fully red.

And stabbing pains had begun to shoot across her injured arm. She couldn’t stay here another night.

Where was Adham? She’d asked him not to sleep around her, but when she’d roused outside of his warm arms, her disappointment had been shaped a little like grief. Her first thought?Better get used to this, Mina.He’d been distant for the last two days, ever since she’d pressured him to recount his past to her.

Or maybe since her attack on him.

She gazed out of the window of their room at her next destination: the hive. In the distance, lightning struck all around that mountain, an ill-omened backdrop. She imagined that lethal queendom readied for her.Brace, fiends. Here I come.

Mina had no choice. Her gamble of staying here hadn’t paid off. She rose to ready for her one-way trip, had just belted on her sword when a knock sounded at the door. She called, “Come in.”

Enti entered, looking as tired as Mina felt. “I sensed you would leave soon. And now I can see it in your eyes.” She added, “Perhaps your sorcerer senses it too.”

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