Page 85 of Shadow's Heart

Adham paced once more, the firelight silhouetting his tense frame. “I think that’s why my mind turns to that fateful day in the dunes so much. It was truly the last day of my childhood. Of innocence.” He glanced up with an embarrassed scowl.

“What happened then?” Mina asked, though she could guess the ending of the story. That fateful day had been his last day to beloved.

“From then on, both coveted my soul, manipulating me to give it up. Especially my father. Even at that age, I knew I couldn’t part with something so important, but they were relentless. He told me he would use my ability better than I could and protect us with it—we could leave the slums and have all the food we could ever eat. Ultimately I trusted the two of them more than myself. I was eight when they persuaded me.” He stopped and faced her. “I was so young and gullible that I handed it over to him with love.”

Mina’s heart was breaking for the boy he’d been. “Did your father deliver on his promise?”

“No.” Bitter laugh. “With my sorcery, he took control of Sorselan with ease. He left my mother and me in slavery and married again, fathering another son he genuinely cared about.”

Mina bit out a curse. “Were you able to forgive your mother for her part?”

He shook his head. “I can’t explain to you what it feels like for a Sorceri to lose their root power, that soullessness, and sheknewwhat it would do to me. They’d been tricked out of theirs, and they visited that same torture onto their child. In a chain unbroken,” he added almost to himself. “After my father left us, she grew unstable. I was on my own from about nine years old.I later heard that she drank a cup of wine with enough poison to end a Sorceri.”

This was his childhood. No wonder he’d grown hardened. “What happened to you then?”

“I endured. I grew tall and strong, so I was assigned duties as a laborer. Every day I was forced to dig sand, me, the former king of it.”

Mina imagined how she would react if she lost something so intrinsic. It would be like someone stealing her logic. She cast a glance at her arm wound. Someone basicallyhad, setting her on a path to insensibility. Thank the gods, Adham’s soul had been returned.

“My existence was one of the deepest misery, interrupted only by rage. But nothing that happened to me during those years—no outrage, no violation—could compare to the treachery that had come before.”

Mina could guess what predatory Loreans had done to this male. Her heart ached for him, pain like a physical wound. She believed one day he might tell her all the details about his past, but not tonight. “When did you get your sorcery back?”

“For years, I plotted, waiting for a chance to strike. Decades trudged by before I could abduct my guarded half brother. I threatened to kill him, unless my father returned my soul.” Adham ran a hand over his face. “The bastard readily surrendered it. To save his other son, he gave up all his power—a move that fucked with my head worse than anything else he could have done to me. The man wasn’t a monster; that would’ve been easier to take. He could, in fact, feel love. He just hadn’t felt love forme.”

Gods.She’d once asked Adham who’d hurt him, imagining a capricious lover. It’d been so much worse.

“Think about it: if my own parents didn’t value me enough to safeguard my soul, then either no one is to be trusted—or Iwasn’t worthy of protection as a child.” Looking weary, Adham sank down on the edge of the bed. “Both scenarios are grim.”

“Of course you were worthy.” She eased closer to him. “What they did was horrible. But maybe your father gave back your power so readily because he regretted his actions.”

Adham’s gaze went distant. “I suppose it’s possible.”

“What happened to him?”

“Those he’d crossed when he took over Sorselan learned he was an Inferi once more. They assassinated him and his second family. My half brother was destined to die one way or another. My father should have kept the power and let me kill my brother.”

“But you wouldn’t have.”

“No?”

“No.” Over these days, she’d studied him and probably knew him better than he knew himself. “What did you do with your reclaimed ability?”

“Revenge became my mistress once more. I targeted all those who’d conspired against my father.Icould hurt him—no one else should dare to and live. I hunted them in spectacular ways, mistaken for a vengeance deity. Then I took control of the realm. Doing so was child’s play. After a millennium of ruling, I grew bored. I left for other dimensions with sand, seeking a challenge, finding none.”

“And so you meddled with humans, becoming a god to them.”

He shrugged. “Why not? No deities were present. Few other immortals challenged me.”

“Were you happy? If the Gaolers hadn’t targeted you, would you ever have left that life?”

His brows drew together, as if she’d posed a question no one had before. “No, I wasn’t happy. But what else could I work toward? What was my purpose? I think people who aresatisfied know something I don’t. They’ve solved a mystery I’ve just scratched the surface of. I want that mystery to be revealed.” He gazed at her face, parting his lips to say more, but then he must’ve thought better of it.

What he called amysterymight be what she calleddivinity, and maybe they were both right, seeking the same bond—the thrum and glow of alchemy.

At length, he murmured, “I would do a lot of things differently. Starting with never trusting my parents.”

“Is that why you’ve never had children?”

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