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"I've got you, buddy," my father called out, bursting through my personal darkness. His arms came around me just before I hit the ground, breaking my fall. "I'm here," he whispered, wrapping me up in his arms. "Always."

"Dad," I cried, tears flowing freely down my face. "Dad…"

"I've got you, Jordan," he promised, holding me up. "You're safe with me."

"Make it stop," I begged, choking on my tears as sobs racked through my body, rendering me fucking useless. "Take it away for me." Shaking my head, I barked out a sob – one that came straight from the darkest depths of my soul. "I can't…Ican't dothis anymore!"

"You are not alone." With one arm around my shoulders, my father pressed his hand to my face and dragged me closer, taking my weight for me. "I am right here with you, son."

This was the first time I had allowed a man to touch me and not lose my mind.

It was so fucked up.

I wanted his comfort.

I needed his touch.

I was just so damn scared to feel it.

To let it back in.

Because the emotions I kept at bay were the ones that I knew could kill me.

If I let myself feel them.

"I am going to get you help," he continued to tell me. "And I'm going to be right beside you the whole time." He moved to the bed, then sank down. Limp, I allowed myself to fall into his arms. I allowed myself to lean on him both mentally and physically.

For the first time in my life, I allowed myself to believe him.

"I willnevergive up on you," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "You're my boy, and I loveyoumost."

I shuddered violently at his words.

"We are going to get you into that treatment center, and I will stay there with you if you want me to. And then, we are going to get out of this place. You and me, Jord. We are going to see the world, buddy. Whatever you want. We'll write up a bucket list and do it all."

Tears poured down my face; his words shaking me to my core.

"I love you more than anything or anyone on this planet, and Iwillget you better, son," he added, voice hoarse and laced with sincerity. "You aremynumber one."

****

Chapter Forty-Eight

Hope

When I woke up this morning, it was to the sight of Hunter naked and sprawled out on his stomach – and to the obnoxiously loud sound of my cell ringing.

Stretching out, I snaked out from under the covers and felt around the floor for my phone.

When I found it, I quickly slid a thumb across the screen and pressed it to my ear, not bothering to check who was calling.

"Hello?"

"Hope." My mother's voice came down the line. "Where are you?"

"Mom?" Frowning at the sound of her clipped tone, I dragged myself into a sitting position. "What's wrong?"

"Can you come home?" she answered my question with a question of her own. "What I have to say to you isn’t a conversation I want to have over the phone."

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