Page 297 of Keeping 13

Her long hair was loose and resting over one shoulder, and she was dressed in a pajama set from one of the countless bags of new clothes that were filling up the spare room. The lads’ mothers had been dropping things over to the house for days now, and I knew from one glance at the pink, glittery string top and matching shorts she was wearing that Claire had a hand in purchasing it.

“I, uh…” She glanced down at her clasped hands and blew out a shaky breath before retraining her gaze on my face. “Oh god, Johnny, your head,” she choked out. Her voice was panicked, her eyes wide. “What happened?”

“Well, it all started back in the spring of 1988 when Gerard Gibson entered the world. Ten years later, he was thrown into my life and it all went to shite from there.” I chuckled and then mentally kicked my own ass for cracking jokes. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered, tugging on the hem of her vest nervously. “I miss you.”

My heart cracked in my chest and my legs were moving before my brain had a chance to catch up. “I’m right here, Shan.” Sitting down beside her, I resisted the urge to pull her onto my lap, settling on placing a hand on her bare knee instead. “I never left, babe. I was just trying to give you some space.”

“I don’t want any more space,” she whispered, shifting closer. “I just want you.”

“You have me,” I croaked out, feeling my heart thump rapidly. “Always.”

“You saved my life, Johnny.” Shivering, she leaned her cheek against my arm and exhaled a ragged breath. “You saved my brothers’ lives.”

“Yeah, well, you saved mine a long time ago,” I replied gruffly. “I was only returning the favor.”

She shook her head, body rigid. “No, I didn’t—”

“Yeah, you did.” Wrapping my arm around her thin shoulders, I tucked her frail body under my arm. “You woke me up, Shan. Made me see things differently. Gave me a life outside of rugby. Something to look forward to.” Shrugging, I leaned down and kissed her hair. “You’ve done a lot for me right back, so don’t be thinking otherwise.”

“Your parents want to foster us,” she confessed, looking up at me all wide-eyed and guilt-ridden. “Me and my brothers.”

“I know, Shan,” I replied softly.

“Your mother told us that she wants to keep us—allof us,” she squeezed out. “Even Joey.”

“Yeah?” My heart fluttered in my chest as I tried to take her measure. “And how do you feel about that?”

“I want to stay,” she admitted quietly. “With your family.”

I mentally heaved a sigh of relief. “That’s a good thing then, right?” I coaxed. “That you want this?”

“I just feel so bad about it,” she choked out. “All of this…” Her shoulders sagged and she ducked her head. “We’re all here in your space, and none of this is fair on you—”

“I want you here,” I interrupted her by saying. “I want you in my space, Shannon.” Twisting sideways, I tipped her chin up, forcing her to meet my gaze. “There’s nowhere else I want you to be than right here with me and my family, okay?”

“But it’s not fair on you,” she repeated, eyes full of unshed tears. “All of my brothers and my problems.” Shivering, she leaned her cheek into my hand and sighed. “I don’t want you to end up hating me.”

“Hating you?” I shook my head. “Shannon, Iloveyou. I’m fucking desperate to keep you here.”

“But my brothers—”

“I want them to stay, too,” I hurried to tell her. “I love little Sean—and Ollie. Christ, I even like Tadhg. He’s a mouthy little fucker, but I understand him. And Joe? He just needs some help. Shite, even Darren’s growing on me.” Wiping a tear from her cheek with my thumb, I leaned closer. “I want all of you to stay with my family.”

“But we’re a lot of trouble,” she whispered, sniffling.

“I like your trouble,” I told her. “I want your trouble and your complications and everything else that comes with you.” Leaning closer, I stroked my nose against hers. “I want you.”

“What if you change your mind?” she asked, pressing her forehead to mine. “What then?”

“I won’t change my mind.”

“But what if—”

“I already told you that I’m a not a fleeting guy,” I said gruffly. “I’m not that person, Shannon. I won’t change my mind about you.” Smiling, I pressed a kiss to her lips and leaned back to look her in the eye. “I’m here forever.”

“Really?”

---