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“Thanks, I agree, but I’m still not gay,” I shot back. “I have a girlfriend.”

I could have kicked my own ass for letting that admission slip out.

Mam froze. “Shannon?”

Fuck it, in for a penny…“Yeah, Shannon’s my girlfriend,” I replied, sitting up. “We’re together now, and before you even start, just know that nothing you or Da say about her is going to make a blind bit of difference to me.”

“I wasn’t going to sayanythingabout Shannon,” Mam replied after a long pause. “I think she’s a lovely girl, love.” Her brow was furrowed, brown eyes locked on mine as she watched me carefully. “But her family—”

“I don’t want to hear it,” I cut her off by saying. “I’m not going out with her family, Ma. I’m going out with her.”

“And what about what her mother said?” Mam whispered, paling. “She’s only sixteen, Johnny.”

“Look at me.” I gestured to the bed and then the pile of clothes in her arms. “What do you think I was doing in here?”

“I don’t know…” Mam worried her lip. “I don’t want you to—”

“Grow up?” I offered. “Bit late for that, Ma. I’ll be eighteen next month.”

“Is it serious?”

“I’m serious about her,” I replied, not missing a beat.

“How serious?”

“Serious enough that I love her,” I offered, meeting my mother’s eyes with steel in my veins. “Serious enough that I’m not going to be scared off.”

“Are you…” Her voice broke off and she swallowed down a whimper before adding, “Taking your time?”

“We’re not doing anything,” I told her. “I’m not stupid, okay? So don’t worry.”

Mam sighed in relief, her small shoulders sagging. “I do like her, Johnny,” she added. “I think she’s a smashing girl—and good for you. I think she’s awonderfulinfluence on you, love, but I just…” She sighed again. “You’remybaby, and I don’t want you getting caught up in something that might affect your future.” She gave me a knowing look. “I don’t want you to make any mistakes.”

“I’ve got my head on straight, Ma,” I told her. “I know where I’m going, and I know what I need to do to get there. I won’t screw myself over.”

“Well then…” Releasing another heavy sigh, Mam slapped on a big smile. “You should bring her over for dinner soon.”

I blinked rapidly. “I thought you said—”

“I said you weren’t allowed over there, but Shannon is always welcome inthishouse,” Mam said. “Under supervision.”

“I, uh—” Scratching my chest, I watched my mother carefully before nodding. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

“Lovely.” Mam smiled brightly. “And you should invite that brother of hers over, too. Smashing boy, but he seems so lonely. You and Gerard could make a little effort with him—maybe you could take him to the gym sometime?”

“Uh, yeah…okay.”Joey Lynch is as likely to drop a barbell on me as he is to spot me, but you’re taking this well so I’ll go with it…“I’ll do that.”

“Good boy. Now, bring your sheets downstairs when you’re coming down for breakfast,” she added before pottering off with Gibsie’s uniform bundled up in her arms. “And next time, be tidier about it. Over the toilet bowl works for your father—less mess.”

Fuck. My. Life.

36

Breaching Walls and Beaches

Johnny

“You could have really screwed me with the condoms, lad, and I’ve forgiven you, so get off your high horse and let it go,” I reminded Gibsie when he pulled into the car park at Tommen. He’d spent the entire drive from my house to school bitching about his uniform, and I had spent the entire drive reminding him of the many,manytimes down through the years that he’d been a pain in my ass. “You’re lucky Shannon didn’t freak out on me because this conversation would be taking place in a different location,” I added as I shoved the car door open and climbed out. “Like a hospital. Or over your grave.”

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