I didn’t dare open the letter in my hands, not when my brain had recognized the messy scrawl as my father’s handwriting.
“He wrote us all our very own letter,” Joey sneered, tone dripping with venom and sarcasm. “Lucky us.”
Darren shook his head. “Joey…”
“Is he dead?” I choked out, heart thudding violently. “Is that it?” I held the letter up. “Did he k—” My breath hitched in my throat and I had to force out the rest of it. “Kill himself?”
“No such luck,” Joey hissed. “He’s as fresh as a daisy, living it up in Brickley House.”
“Brickley House?”
“It’s a treatment center on the other side of the city,” Darren explained. “Dad signed himself in two weeks ago, Shannon. The day after you went into the hospital. That’s where he’s been, why nobody could find him.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to wrangle in my emotions and digest what I was hearing, but when I spoke again, all I could come out with was “What?”
“What does that mean?” Tadhg choked out, paling. When no one responded, he screamed, “What’s happening?”
“It means he’s a clever son of a bitch with friends in high places and access to some slick legal advice,” Joey sneered, planting his hands on his hips. “It means he won’t see a day behind bars—like I predicted. Like I told you fucking all!”
“No,” Darren quickly jumped in. “He’ll still have to go to court.”
“Why isn’t he in prisonnow?” I choked out, feeling my body shake from head to toe. Swinging my gaze to Darren, I whispered, “That’s what you said, Darren. You told me as soon as they found Dad, he would be arrested.” A harsh sob tore from my throat and I instinctively clutched my side, remembering all too well what had happened in this kitchen the last time our father had been here. My body seized up with panic. “That’s what you said,” I choked out, feeling close to collapsing. “Youpromised.”
Darren flinched. “I know what I said—”
“He’scooperating,” Joey interjected, tone furious.
“What do you mean?” Tadhg asked.
“Admitting himself into Brickley House was enough to show the judge that he is showing remorse for his actions and willing to seek help for his addictions,” Darren explained. “It means the judge consented to his bail on the grounds that he completes a thirty-day treatment plan, complies with the no-contact order in place, and shows up to court in November.”
“November?” My eyes widened in fear. “But that’s months away.”
“Which means he’ll be a free man in a couple of weeks,” Joey added, clapping his hands together. “Well fucking done.” Turning his fury on Mam, he said, “You can stop crying now. He’ll be back to you soon.”
“No, he won’t,” Darren snapped. “He’ll go down for what he did.”
“Don’t bullshit them, Darren!” Joey roared, completely losing his cool. “Don’t fucking lie to them.” Turning to face us, he said, “He’s going to do his thirty days, come out a changed man, full of remorse and regret, show up to court in a nice suit one of his prick friends sorted him out with, and the judge is going to praise him for his efforts—his clean, sober living. And then we’ll get the ‘Everyone deserves a second chance’ spiel before they send him on his way with a slap on the wrist.”
“Joey!” Darren snapped. “That’s enough.”
“A few months will pass, the social workers will phase us out—because let’s face it, lads, there’s a line of fuckups just like us to deal with,” Joey continued, ignoring Darren. “As long as we’re all fed, clothed, relatively unscathed, and keeping up at school, we’ll fade off their radar. They’ll forget about us—just like before.”
“I said that’s enough!” Darren roared. “You’re scaring them!”
“And then he’ll slither back into her bed like nothing ever happened,” Joey added, narrowing his green eyes at Darren. “That’swhat’s going to happen, and you’re all fools if you believe otherwise.”
“I hate you!” Tadhg screamed, throwing his unopened letter at Mam and then bolting from the room, pushing me aside as he ran. The sound of his footsteps thundering on the staircase filled the strained silence that had settled around us in the aftermath of his retreat.
I continued to watch my brothers and mother with wariness, all the while wishing I could feel something inside. Everything was numb and cold, and my life felt frozen in time. There was nothing there. I was justempty.
All my faith, my hope, my future…poof.
“I’m going out,” Joey finally declared. Rubbing his face with his hand, he exhaled a pained groan. “I need tonotbe here right now.”
“Where are you going?” Darren demanded. “Joey, it’s almost half eleven at night—”
“None of your goddamn business,” Joey spat out as he stalked out of the kitchen, carefully avoiding brushing up against me as he went—or making eye contact.