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“Joey,” I called after him, voice breaking. “Please don’t go—”

The front door slammed shut and I was left alone with Mam and Darren.

“It’s going to be okay,” Darren said, turning to face me. “I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Darren,” I shot back, trembling.

“He’s right,” Mam sniffled, turning to look at me. “Because I won’t let him come back here.”

“Don’t say anything at all,” I whispered, and without saying another word, I turned on my heel and walked up to my room, with my father’s letter in hand, wishing I had appreciated the last two weeks of sleep I’d had because I knew in my heart I wouldn’t be sleeping easy again.

He’ll be backwas all I could think of as I climbed under the covers and curled up in the smallest ball I could.He’s coming home—just you wait and see.

Somebody is going to die in this house.

Sooner or later…

I didn’t close an eye that night.

35

Tissues and Ejaculation Issues

Johnny

“Are you dead?” Gibsie’s voice perforated the best sleep I’d had in years and reluctantly I blinked awake.

“Huh?” I asked, voice raspy and thick from sleep. “The fuck?” Pulling myself up on my elbow, I glanced around, spotting my best friend in the doorway of my room. “What are you doing?”

“I told you last night that I’d pick you up for school,” he replied, giving me a curious look. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.” Yawning loudly, I ran a hand through my hair. “You woke me up.”

“You’re always up by now,” he stated, eyeballing me. “Are you sick?”

“Do I look sick?” I shot back, pissed as hell that he’d woken me up from the first decent, pain-free sleep I’d had in months. “What time is it?”

“Half past five,” he replied, frowning. “And no, you don’t look sick, but you definitely lookdifferent.” Rolling up the sleeves of his navy-blue school jumper, he approached my bed, watching me with suspicion in his eyes. “Peaceful,” he noted. “And relaxed.” His eyes widened then. “You came, didn’t you?”

“Lad, it’s too early for you.” Dropping back down on the mattress, I grabbed a pillow, tucked it against my chest, and rolled onto my side with every intention of going back to sleep. “Give me a couple of hours. We don’t have to be at school until ten past nine.”

“But I’m ready to train,” he pushed. “You said you’d help me. I need a life goal.”

“And I will,” I groaned, snuggling deeper into my pillow. “Just…let me sleep today, okay?”

“Imagining that pillow’s your girlfriend?” Gibsie asked. “Little Shannon?”

“Fuck off, Gibs,” I grumbled, closing my eyes. “I’m tired.”

“Yeah, you’re tired from pulling your balls,” he shot back. “That’s why you won’t get up and train me.”

“Go without me this morning,” I mumbled. “I’ll go with you tomorrow… I promise.”

“Fuck that,” he pressed. “I’m never up this early—”

“Shh,” I coaxed, keeping my eyes closed. “Sleep.”

“Jonathan.”

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