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“It’s going to cost me a small fortune.” Gibsie sighed. “And my mam says that they’remyresponsibility because I brought him into her bedroom and I should have known better, but I didn’t fucking know better because I was under the assumption that he was walking around with a permanent condom on his cat dick. But no, he lied to me—lied to the vets, too. He had a sperm-filled ball all along!”

“And Cherub’s not the only cat on the street he knocked up, either,” Claire added. “Apparently, Mrs. Lovell’s gray tabby had a litter of snow-white kittens last Tuesday. They had long hair andeverything.”

“What can I say other than he’s a whore?” Gibsie confirmed with a grim nod. “He’s an abusive, one-bollocked bastard on a mission to impregnate every pussy he gets his claws into—but I’m only standing over Cherub,” he added with a huff. “That’s it. I’ll father them. I’ll do the night feeds with you, Claire. I’ll be there at the birth. But that’s it. Yours are the only babies I’m claiming. I knownothingwhatsoever about Mrs. Lovell’s tabby or any other woman’s pregnant pussy. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”

“You two are made for each other,” Katie chuckled. “It’s so adorable.”

“Don’t tell them that, babe,” Hughie growled. “You’ll give them ideas.”

“But they’re havingbabiestogether,” Katie pointed out. “They’re already committed.”

“Okay, topic changer before I throw my lunch up,” Lizzie interjected, feigning a gag. “What are we going to do about transition year?”

“What do you mean?” Shannon asked, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand.

“They spoke about it at school last week,” Lizzie explained. “They’re introducing the leap-year option.”

“Are you fucking serious?” I demanded, feeling a sudden pang of outrage. “Ibeggedthem to let me skip fourth year, but Twomey was adamant that they weren’t going to offer the gap-year program at Tommen.”

“Well, he clearly changed his mind because it’s being offered to us,” Lizzie told me. “We have the option to skip fourth year and move straight into fifth year after the summer.” She looked at Shannon and Claire. “And I’m taking it, guys.”

Claire frowned. “You are?”

“And endure one less year of bullshit?Of courseI’m taking it,” Lizzie shot back. “I’d leave right now if I had my way.”

“Good choice,” Feely interjected quietly, giving her a small nod.

Lizzie blushed. “I know.”

“Well, I don’t know what I’m doing yet,” Claire announced. “I haven’t even thought about it.”

“You should skip,” Gibsie encouraged, waggling his brows at her. “Then you’re one year closer to me.”

“And what good would that do me?” Claire teased.

“It’ll put us ahead of schedule,” he replied, not missing a beat. “It’s a good omen. I can feel it in my balls.”

Claire rolled her eyes. “You and your weirdness.”

“And his gooch,” Katie offered with a snicker.

“Always the gooch,” Gibsie agreed with laugh.

“Jesus,” Hughie groaned. “Enough of the gooch already—”

“Should we even be talking like this?” Feely asked then, casting a guilty look in Shannon’s direction. “You know, given the circumstances—”

“Please don’t stop,” Shannon hurried to say. “Just keep being normal with me.” Shrugging shyly, she settled into a sitting position between my legs, facing the others, and whispered, “It helps.”

“You want normal?” Gibsie asked, giving her a wolfish grin. “I can do that.”

“He can’t,” Lizzie interjected. “It’s physiologically impossible for him to act like a normal human.”

“Oh, and there she is, the viper,” Gibsie countered in a sarcastic drawl. “Fair play, girl. You kept that poisonous tongue of yours under control for over an hour.”

“Eat shit,” Lizzie growled.

“I’d eat shit before I’d eat you,” he shot back.

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