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“But you’re crying,” I choked out, voice thick with emotion.

“Because I’m so happy for you,” she half sobbed, half laughed. “You’re being rewarded for all of your hard work.” Sniffling, she cupped my face in her small hands and pressed her forehead to mine. “This is your time.” With her big blue eyes locked on mine, she urged, “Take this. It’s yours,” before pressing a hard kiss to my lips. “Take it andshine.”

“I’m scared,” I whispered in her ear, not giving two damn shites that our friends were lurking around, eavesdropping. I needed to get this off my chest before I exploded. “I’m scared to take this and loseyou.”

“I’m yours, too,” she promised. “You can have both.”

“I’ve been fighting for this my whole life, Shannon,” I choked out, feeling my chest constrict so tight that I struggled to breathe. “This isn’t a whim to me.”

She nodded. “I know.”

“Ihaveto do it,” I confessed, begging her with my eyes to forgive me. “I have to see itthrough.”

She smiled. “Iknow.”

“Then why does it feel allwrong?” I choked out.

“It’s not wrong, Johnny,” she whispered. “It’srightand that’s what’s scary.”

“I won’t do it,” I blurted out, panicking and backpedaling. “If you have doubts, tell me now, and I’ll stay. If you don’t want me to go, then I won’t. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it—”

“Iwantthis for you,” Shannon cut me off by saying. “I want you to chase your dreams and show the world howamazingyou are.”

“But I’ll be gone for a month,” I croaked out, heart hammering violently in my chest. “Maybe even a month and a half. Could be more. That’s a long time, Shan.”

“And I’llbehere when you come home. If it’s in a month, or a month and a half, or two months, or four—” Sniffling, she gave me a bright smile. “I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

“You’re hurting my ladder,” Gibsie said in a sad tone of voice.

“What?” Shannon and I both asked in unison as we turned to look at him.

“My ladder,” Gibsie explained with a lonesome sigh. “You made it shrink with all this talk of Johnny leaving.” Sinking down on the grass beside Claire, he huffed out a breath. “Now I’m fucking depressed.”

“Oh, come on. He’ll come back to you, too.” Hooking her arm through his, Claire leaned her cheek against Gibsie’s shoulder. “And you can’t be too sad, Gerard. We’re having babies together this summer, remember?”

“Yeah, I know.” He sighed heavily as he rested his chin on her head. “But I’m still not sure we’re ready for that kind of responsibility, babe. I mean, I’m only seventeen.”

“Well, ready or not, the babies are coming,” Claire replied, patting his knee. “And it’s your fault for letting him in.”

“What the actual fuck?” Lizzie and Hughie both demanded at the same time.

“Brian,” Gibsie explained in a glum tone. “Turns out he had an undescended testicle and wasn’t shooting blanks like we thought.”

“And that explains why you’re having babies this summer how, exactly?” Katie choked out, eyes-wide.

“He had sex with Cherub,” Gibsie wailed. “We caught them at it in Claire’s room back during Easter break. And now she’spregnant.”

“Our catCherub?” Hughie demanded. “Brian got her pregnant?”

“We’ve had our suspicions for a while, but the vet confirmed it last Wednesday,” Gibsie groaned. “We saw them and everything, didn’t we, babe?”

“Uh-huh—on an ultrasound monitor,” Claire agreed. “She’s havingsixkittens.”

“Did you know a cat’s pregnancy can last anything from fifty-six to sixty-seven days?” Gibsie asked.

“No,” the rest of us replied.

“Well, she could give birth anytime from the middle of next month onward,” Claire told us. “Isn’t that exciting?”