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“What?” My voice rose with my panic. “I don’t… How… What?”

“Johnny, pet, you need to sit down.”

“It’s half an hour from their house to ours,” I spat out. “How does a house burn down in half a fucking hour, Da?”

“A house burns down that quickly if it’s lit intentionally,” Dad replied gruffly. “The house was doused in flammables, Johnny, and all the windows and doors were locked. They didn’t have a chance of getting out.” He shivered. “Billy called me back just there to let me know that two bodies were pulled out.” Sighing heavily, he added, “Given all the information you told me that I relayed to him, he’s confident that the fire was set mere minutes after you took the children, and the bodies are—”

“Don’t say it.” Holding my head in my hands, I staggered backwards, knocking up against the sink. “No, Da. Jesus Christ, don’t tell methat—”

“Johnny, shh. It’s okay, son.” Pushing his stool back, my father walked toward me. “Come here—”

“She’s dead?” I whispered, feeling tears drip down my cheeks. “But I told her I’d go back for her,” I choked out, shaking my head. “Jesus Christ, I should have made her come with me!”

My father’s arms came around me. “Shh,” he whispered, holding me up when my body felt weak to the bone. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

“I left her there, Da,” I choked out, clutching my father. “I left her in that house!”

“Do you know what you did tonight?” he asked, tightening his hold on me. “You saved four children.”

“No.” I clenched my eyes shut and buried my face in his neck. “Don’t say it like that—”

“They would have burned to death inside that house if you hadn’t been the crazy, reckless, brilliant man you are,” he continued. “They wouldn’t have had a chance in hell of getting out of there, son. Sean was doused in alcohol. You saved them all, Johnny. They were in their beds, son. They were terrified of him. There was no way those kids would have left their rooms if you hadn’t gone in there to get them.” Dad shuddered before adding, “And what you said about slipping on the staircase and the landing and hallway when you were inside the house? That was alcohol and petrol, Johnny. One spark of a flame and it was all over for those children—the entire place would have ignited with all of you in there—butyoukept your head andyougot them out.”

“No, no, no,” I choked out, terrified. “I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“You trusted your instincts,” he corrected. “You might not have understood what was happening, son, but youknewthey needed to get out. Because of you, there are four children alive and breathing in this house tonight.”

“Do they know yet?” I whispered, clenching my eyes shut tightly.

“No,” Dad replied.

“Fuck,” I croaked out. “How am I going to tell Shannon?”

“Tell me what?” Shannon’s voice filled my ears and I flinched.

“Shan,” I choked out, pushing away from my father and finding her hovering in the kitchen doorway, looking small and terrified. “You okay?”

“What’s wrong?” she croaked out, eyes wide and full of fear. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying, baby.” Sniffling, I wiped my eyes and moved to go to her, needing to hold her in my arms and just stop the world for a minute. My head was spinning, my heart was reeling, and I couldn’t take it all in. Closing the space between us, I pulled her into my arms and squeezed her body tighter than I knew I should. “I love you,” I whispered, holding her close. “Jesus Christ, Shan, I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” she choked out, clinging to my waist. “What’s going on?”

“I tried, Shan,” I choked out, tightening my hold on her. “I really did.”

“Johnny, what’s happening?” she asked, voice cracking.

“Shannon!” Darren’s voice filled my ears and I turned just as he burst through the utility room door, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Are you all okay?” His bloodshot eyes were wild and panicked as he staggered into the kitchen. “Where are the boys?”

“Darren?” Shannon cried, breaking out of my hold. “What’s happening here?”

“Shan—” A gut-wrenching sob tore from his throat. “I can’t—”

“The boys are all here and they’re all safe,” Dad replied, moving to catch Darren just as his legs gave out beneath him. “That’s it. You’re okay.” Lowering them both to the floor, my father pulled him into his arms. “I’ve got you.”

“Mam,” he cried, burying his face in my father’s neck. “My mam!”

“I know,” Dad whispered, cupping the back of his neck. “Shh, I know, lad. I know.”

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