Too worn out to think about it, I slumped in the chair, taking in everything and taking in nothing at all. It was almost like a prison sentence with no parole.
Sagging forward, I clutched my ribs and waited for it to be over. The adrenaline inside of me was dissipating at a rapid pace, replaced with more pain than I could consciously endure. The taste of blood in my mouth was thick and potent, the lack of air in my lungs was making me feel light-headed and woozy. My fingertips danced between numb and tingling.
Everything hurt and I was done.
I was so completely done with the pain and the bullshit. I didn’t want this life I had been born into. I didn’t want this family. I didn’t want this town or the people in it.
I didn’t want any of it.
“I want you to know something,” Joey finally bit out when she didn’t answer him. His tone was ice cold as he spat out the words I knew were churning around inside of him like poison that needed to be exorcised from the pits of his fractured heart. I knew because I felt the same way.
“I want you to know that I hate you more right now than I haveeverhated him.” His body was shaking, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “I want you to know that you are no longer my mother—not that I ever had one of those to begin with.” He clenched his jaw, striving to keep the pain inside of him from expelling. His pride refused to allow him to show emotion in front of these people.
“From this moment on, you aredeadto me. All your shit? Handle it yourself. The next time he hits you? I won’t be there to shield you. The next time he drinks all the money and you can’t feed the kids or get the electricity switched back on? Find some other asshole to get cash from. The next time he throws you down the staircase or breaks your fucking arm in one of his whiskey tantrums? I’ll turn a blind eye just like you did right here in this kitchen. From this day on, I won’t be there to protect you from him, just like you weren’t there to protect us.”
I cringed with every word that poured from his lips, feeling his pain in the deepest part of my soul as it mixed together with mine.
“Don’t talk to your mother like that,” our father snarled, tone menacing, as he hauled himself to his feet, all six feet and two hundred pounds of him. “You ungrateful little—”
“Don’t even think about speaking to me, you scummy piece of shit,” Joey warned, glowering at Dad. “I might share your blood but that’s as far as it goes. You and me are done, old man. You can burn in hell for all I care. In fact, I sincerely fucking hope you both do.”
I felt a hand clamp gently down on my shoulder then, startling me and causing me to groan in pain. “It’s okay,” Tadhg whispered, keeping his hand on my shoulder. “I’m here.”
I closed my eyes as the tears trickled down my cheeks.
“You think you can talk to me like that?” Dad wiped his face with the back of his hand and, in doing so, smeared a trail of blood up his arm. “You need to settle the fuck down, boy—”
“You’re callingmeboy?” Joey threw his head back and laughed humorlessly. “Me? The one who’s been raising your fucking kids for most of my life? The one who’s been cleaning up both of your messes, taking care of both of your responsibilities, picking up the slack for two worthless, piece-of-shit parents?” Joey threw his hands up in outrage. “I might be only eighteen, but I’m more of a man than you’lleverbe!”
“Don’t push your luck,” Dad growled, red-eyed and sobering fast. “I’m warning ya—”
“Or fucking what?” Joey taunted with a careless shrug. “You’ll knock me around? Hit me? Kick me? Get your belt out? Take a hurley to my legs? Bust a bottle over my head? Terrorize me?” He shook his head and sneered. “Guess what? I’m not a scared little boy anymore, old man. I’m not a defenseless child, I’m not a scared teenage girl, and I’m not your battered wife.” Narrowing his green eyes, he added, “So, whatever you do to me, I can promise you that I’ll return tenfold.”
“Get out of my house,” Dad hissed in a deathly quiet tone. “Now, boy.”
“Teddy, stop!” Mam wailed, hurrying toward him. “You can’t—”
“Shut the fuck up, woman!” Dad roared, turning his fury on our mother. “I’ll break your face for ya! Do ya hear me?”
Flinching, Mam looked to Joey, expression helpless.
Joey remained rigid, clearly fighting an internal battle, but he didn’t go to her.
“You can’t throw him out…” Mam’s words drifted away as she stared up in pure, unadulterated fear at the man she had married. “Please.” Tears dripped down her pale cheeks. “He’s my son—”
“Oh, so now I’m your son? Don’t do me any favors.”
“This is your fault, girl,” Dad barked then, turning to glare at me. “Whoring around the fucking town, making trouble for this family! You’re the problem in this—”
“Don’t even go there,” Joey warned, voice rising. “Keep your goddamn eyes off her.”
“It’s the truth,” Dad snarled, keeping his brown eyes locked on my face. “You’re a waste of space and you always have been.” With a cruel expression etched on his face, he added, “I told your mother about ya, but she wouldn’t hear it. I knew, though. Even when you were small, I knew what kind you were. A fucking runt.” Glowering at me, he spat out, “Don’t know where you came from.”
I stared back at the man who’d spent my entire life terrorizing me. He stood in the middle of the kitchen, a formidable force to be reckoned with, two strong arms attached to fists that caused more damage to my body than I could remember. But it was his words, his tongue, that had damaged me so much deeper.
“That’s a lie, Teddy!” Mam choked out. “Shannon, baby, that’s not—”
“We never wanted you.” Dad continued, tormenting me with his words. “Did ya know that? Your mother left you for a week in the hospital, debating whether or not to give you up until the guilt got the better of her. But I never changed my mind. I couldn’t even stand the sight of you, let alone love you.”