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“Shannon, don’t listen to him,” Joey commanded, tone thick with emotion now. “It’s not true. The bastard’s unhinged. Just block it out. Do ya hear me, Shan? Blockhimout.”

“I didn’t want you either,” Dad snarled, turning his glare on Joey.

“My heart’s bleeding,” Joey shot back mockingly.

“Well, we feel the same about you,” Tadhg growled, hand shaking on my shoulder as he stared at our father. “None of us wantyou!”

“Tadhg,” Joey said in a low, warning tone, panic lighting his eyes. “Be quiet. I’ve got this.”

“No, I won’t be quiet, Joe,” Tadhg choked out, filled with more rage than any eleven-year-old boy should be carrying. “He’s the fucking problem in this family and he needs to hear it.”

“Get him out of my sight!” Dad roared, turning his attention to Mam, who was hovering slightly apart from both of them. “Now, Marie!” Dad bellowed, pointing a finger at her. “Get him out before I do away with the little bastard.”

“I’d like to see you fucking try,” Joey taunted, shifting both Ollie and Sean, who were clinging to his sides, behind him.

“No!” Sniffling, Mam moved to stand between our father and Joey. “Youneed to go.”

Dad took a step toward her and Mam automatically cowered away, hands shooting out in front of her face.

It was the epitome of pathetic.

None of us ever had a fighting chance with these people. How could love and fear coexist in one human heart? How could shelovehim when she feared him so much?

“What did you say to me?” he hissed, turning his fury on our mother. “What thefuckdid you say to me!”

“Leave,” Mam choked out, shaking from head to toe as she backed up a couple of steps. “It’s over, Teddy. I’m done—we’re done. I can’t… I need you togo away!”

“You’re done?” Dad sneered, glaring at her. “You think you’re leaving me?” He laughed cruelly. “You’re mine, Marie. Do ya hear me? You’re fucking mine.” He took another step toward my mother. “Think you can throw me out? Walk away from me?”

“Just go,” Mam choked out. “I want you gone, Teddy! Get out of our lives.”

“You think you have a life without me? You arenothingwithout me, bitch!” Dad roared, eyes wild and full of unrestrained madness. “The only way you’re leaving me is in a box, girl! I’ll kill you before I let you leave me. Do ya hear me? I’ll burn this fucking house to the ground with you and your cunts in it before I let you go.”

“Stop.” A small cry tore from Ollie’s throat as he clutched Joey’s leg. “Make him stop,” he sobbed, clinging to our brother as if he held all the answers. “Please.”

“Are you a girl now?” Dad demanded, looking disgusted. “Toughen up, Ollie, ya little bollox!”

“That’s enough, Teddy!” Mam screamed, clutching her chest. “Get out!”

“This is my fucking house,” Dad roared back. “I’m going nowhere!”

“That’s fine,” Joey stated in a cool tone before turning to look at our brothers. “Ollie, go outside and take Sean with you.” Sliding his hand into his jeans pocket, Joey pulled out his phone and handed it to him. “Here—take this and phone Aoife, okay? Call her up and she’ll come get us.”

“No, no, no!” Mam began to panic. “Joey, please, don’t take them away from me.”

Nodding once, Ollie caught ahold of Sean’s hand and hurried from the kitchen, running past the outstretched arms of our mother without hesitation. At nine and three years old, they didn’t trust her. Because even at their tender young ages, they knew that whether she meant to or not, their mother would inevitably let them down.

“I told him to go. I told him, Joey. Please, I choose you. Of course,of course, I choose you!” Hurrying toward my brother, Mam fisted Joey’s hoodie in her frail hands and looked up at him. “Please don’t do this… Please, Joey. Don’t take my children.”

“What good are you to them when you can’t keep them safe?” Joey demanded, unmoving. His voice was shaking, though, as our mother clung to him, begging him for one more chance to let us down. “You’re a fucking ghost in this house,” he bit out. “You’re wallpaper, Mam. A mouse.” He ran a shaky hand through his blond hair and hissed, “You arenot goodfor us!”

“Joey, wait—wait! Please don’t do this.” Clutching my brother’s hands, she dropped to her knees and began to beg. “Don’t take them from me.”

“I can’t leave them here,” Joey choked out, chest heaving. “And you’ve made your choice.”

“You don’t understand,” she cried, shaking her head. “You don’t see.”

“Then get up, Mam,” Joey choked out, pleading. “Get up off your knees and walkoutof this house with me.”

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