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Nodding, I grabbed my bag. “Thanks for the spin.”

“Shannon?”

“Yeah?”

“Good luck.”

I’m going to need it.

Swinging the car door shut, I slipped my bag onto my shoulders and made my way toward the courtyard, body rigid and mind reeling. The closer I got to the main building, the harder it was to keep my breathing regulated and even. I was anxious, and with every step I took, I slipped closer to a full-blown panic attack.

Mentally chanting tiny affirmations to myself, I put my head down, ignored all the stares and whispers, and hurried inside. I felt off-center and disoriented, and not even the heat wafting from the radiators inside the main building could thaw the ice in my veins as I hurried down the hallway, desperately trying to scope out Claire and Lizzie.

“Hi, Shan,” a familiar voice called out from behind me.

I spun around to find Shelly, one of the girls in my class, waving at me from the bathroom doorway. The smile on her face quickly slipped when her eyes landed on mine. “Oh god,” she whisper-hissed, pointing at my face. “It’s really true, isn’t it?”

“Probably,” I mumbled, feeling anxious.

“I just thought… I mean, when I heard the girls talking about it in the bathroom, I just presumed—” She snapped her mouth shut and just stared at me for a long moment. “Damn, girl,” she finally said. “I’m so sorry.”

“Do you know where Claire is?” I asked, voice small. “Or Lizzie?”

“Office with Mr. Twomey. He called them both in when they arrived. They’ve been in there for ages.” Shelly grimaced. “It’s probably about you.”

“Oh.” I stood there for several moments, debating what to say to that before deciding there was nothingto sayand hurrying away.

I planned on escaping to the third-year common room and hiding there until first class commenced, but my feet had other plans. My pulse raced as I wandered off the beaten track, traveling down corridors I never used to the fifth-year wing of the school.

I heard her before I saw her. “Get the fuck out of my way, whore!”

Shoving me roughly aside, Bella barreled down the hallway, coming as close to running as I’d ever seen a girl in six-inch heels move. Staggering sideways from the impact, I braced the wall with my hand, breathing hard, and stared after her.

“This is all your fault!” she tossed out over her shoulder before disappearing down another corridor. “You ruined my life.”

In some sick and extremely unhealthy way, I almost feltbetter, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Temporarily, at least. Because Iknewthis altercation was coming. Iknewshe was going to do something to me.

Girls like Bella Wilkinson were all the same. They were bitter and angry at the world and could never let a single thing go. Thethingin Bella’s case was Johnny, and the look she gave me on the bus that day had assured me that I was on the firing line.

You’ve survived far worse than a mean girl,a small voice in the back of my head reminded me.In three years’ time, she’ll be a blip on your radar.

It was with this knowledge that I steeled my spine and made my way down to the fifth-year wing. I had a whole speech thought up, one that fell out of my head the moment I locked eyes onhim, leaning against his locker, with his arms folded across his chest, surrounded by a small army of fellow students. Beside him, resting against the lockers, was one lone crutch. I instantly recognized four of the boys with him as Gibsie, Patrick Feely, Pierce O’Neill, and Hughie Biggs. Others, I recognized from the bus. His teammates, I noted.

They were all laughing at something Gibsie was saying. Johnny’s smile was a full, double-dimpled one, and I could only imagine what Gibsie had said to draw that reaction out of him as he waved his hands around animatedly in usual Gibsie fashion.

Johnny’s dark hair was styled in that deliciously disheveled look I was fairly sure—no, Iknew—he woke up in the morning with, and his eyes were dancing with amusement.

Gibsie and Hughie began to play fight then, with Hughie tackling Gibsie to the floor and rolling around, while the others looked on and laughed. Riveted to the spot, I watched Johnny interact, taking in how carefree he looked with his teammates and friends, and it made me sad.

He never looks like that with you because you don’t make him happy. You never could. All you are is a complication,a niggling voice of doubt insisted in my mind.Get used to watching him from a distance, Shannon, because he’s going away soon. He’s going to be a star. Look at him. He already shines so bright, it’s blinding…

With my bravery abandoning me in a shaky breath, I swiftly turned on my heel, hell-bent on getting away—on putting some much-needed space between my heart and the boy who owned it. It was too much: my feelings, the crowds, this school, my life…

“Shannon?”

Keep going, it might not be him.

“Shannonlike the river, come back here!”

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