Page 104 of Keeping 13

Busted.

Freezing in the middle of the corridor with my back to him, I debated my options: pretend I hadn’t heard him the first time, or just keep running? The coward in me favored option two, but I forced myself to juststay, breathe, and think this through.

You don’t want to run away from Johnny,I silently commanded myself.This is silly. You’re not scared of him.

“Were you going to ignore me?” His voice was closer now, achingly closer, and when I felt his fingers brush against my shoulder blade, an involuntary shiver rolled through me. “Hmm?”

Inhaling a deep, steadying breath, I turned around and slapped on the brightest smile I could muster. “Hi, Johnny.”

Johnny’s face was set in a deep frown, blue eyes full of confusion as they swept over me. God, he was beautiful. It was hard to focus when my eyes kept drifting to his mouth—to his lips I knew on an intimate basis.

“Hi, Shannon,” he replied, not smiling.

“H-how are you?” I asked, nervous.

“Fine. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay…” My smile slipped as I took in his thunderous expression. “What’s wrong?”

“You were running,” Johnny replied, looking hurt. “From me.”

“Oh, no, I was just… I needed to… I mean, yeah, I thought I should—” Exhaling a ragged breath, I let my shoulders sag. “Yeah.”

His eyes softened. “Yeah, as in youwereor you weren’t?”

“I’m, uh…” I grimaced, feeling acutely exposed in this moment. He was putting me on the spot in that direct way of his. “I’m not really sure.”

A faint smile ghosted his full lips. “You’re not sure of what?”

“Whether you wanted me to come over to you just there? I mean, I didn’t know if you wanted to see me…or talk? After what happened with my mam, and I just, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk to me anymore.” I blew out a shaky breath, self-loathing strong as I slipped and stumbled over my words. “I didn’t know what you wanted.” Exhaling heavily, I dropped my head. “Idon’tknow,” I amended quietly, my voice barely more than a whisper. “What you want.”

“Ask me.”

Forcing down the urge to run and hide, I raised my chin up and looked at him. “Huh?”

“If you want to know what I want, then ask me,” Johnny repeated, closing the space between us. “All you have to do isaskme.” His hand came down, gently cupping my elbow. “And I’ll tell you.”

I felt dizzy when I croaked out, “What do you want, Johnny?”

“For a start, I want you to look me in the eyes when you talk to me,” Johnny replied, blue eyes burning holes so deep inside of me, I doubted they could ever be repaired. “Second, I want you to stop worrying about things you can’t control. Like Darren and your ma.”

“But you didn’t come back,” I blurted out and then reddened before quickly backpedaling. My heart was racing wildly, my body shaking with a mixture of anxiety and excitement. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that youhadto come back or anything like that, and I wasn’t expecting you to just drop everything for me. I know you’re busy and you have a lot of rehab sessions—”

“I didn’t come back because I couldn’t, Shannon, not because I was told not to by your ma and not because I didn’t want to see you,” Johnny explained, sounding pained. “I didn’t come back because I physicallycouldn’tget to you. I still can’t drive, and my ma wouldn’t let me out of her sight. They even took Gibsie off me, for Christ’s sake. But I wanted to.” He exhaled a shaky breath. “Ireallyfucking wanted to see you.”

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. For the last week, I hadn’t slept, had barely eaten anything, and all because I was literally drowning in my feelings and uncertainty. The unknown was a terrifying thing for me. Not knowing where I stood with Johnny was even worse. “Oh.”

“I tried to call you,” he added gruffly. “I texted you every day.”

“Your battery died,” I explained, feeling light-headed. “I couldn’t charge it.”

“Dead battery.” Johnny sighed in what looked like relief. “Makes sense.”

“Does she hate me?” I asked then, feeling a little faint. “Your mother?”

“No, Shan, she doesn’t hate you,” he replied, voice torn. “I don’t think there’s a person on this planet who could hate you.”

“But?”

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