Page 75 of Silent Is The Heart

‘Love about him’ gets stuck in my throat, and my voice starts to sound wrecked. Leonard doesn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to know any of it. Jesus, I’ve lost my mind.

Scoffing at myself, my laugh sounds like it belongs toSnidely Whiplash’sdog,Muttley. “Why the fuck am I telling you?”

That was meant to be rhetorical, so naturally, the world’s shittiest plumber pipes in. “Sometimes it’s good to let things out. You can’t keep everything bottled up or—”

“Save it,” I cut him off, heaving myself out of the recliner.

Family time is officially over. I need to go burn some damn sage now. If I have to hear him preach to me after I just spewed all that crap, I might light more than sage to cleanse my apartment.

A good cleanse… that’s exactly what I need. No wonder I can’t even be content being miserable in my own place.

“And you need to leave,” I inform him on my way to my room. “I can’t have you here. Not now. Not like you gave me much of a choice in the first place.”

“I’ll sign into the Siever halfway house tomorrow. I’ll be gone in the morning.”

There’s no saltiness to his tone. It’s so agreeable, it just pisses me off even more.

“Whatever.”

CHAPTER 37

Aaron

“Thank you for coming.” The greeting sounds so formal as I click my front door shut behind Easton.

Head downcast, he’s like a dead man walking, completely closed off with his hands jammed in his jeans’ pockets. Toeing some nonexistent mark on the floor with his boot, he doesn’t even look up at me. Please tell me I haven’t done too much damage.

I don’t know if he’s receded so far inside himself that I can’t reach him, but I can’t wait another second to set my news free. No way was I telling him over the phone and having it come off as a throwaway comment.

Skipping right to the point, I blurt, “I’m not going to Brazil.”

Whatever blanket of invisibility he’d thrown over me falls to the floor. Those gorgeous eyes of his, filled with surprise, snap to mine. Was he that convinced that I would?

“Is Jason…gone?”

“No.” I should probably be ashamed of how disappointed I feel to have to tell him that, but mostly I’m heartsick that I can’t say otherwise. “I told him, though. Last night. I told him I can’t go.”

That seems to assuage his worry, his features softening. A bloom of hope unfurls in my chest.

“What did he say?”

“He said he’d give me a few days to think about it.”

“Andthat’swhy you asked me to come over?”

I used to think he was the one who had problems communicating, the way he held everything inside. Watching his expression crumple, however, I’m starting to realizeI’mthe weak link in the explaining department.

“No! No. I asked you to come over because I needed to see you.” Does he really not know? “I told him I can’t go because I’m in love with you.”

I’ve put my heart in his hands, back where it was in the first place. I want him to close his fingers around it and keep it forever. The disbelief on his face has me stepping forward, hoping it means he never actually gave it back to me.

I beg so hard it’s a whisper. “Do you still want me?”

I’m only in agony for a split second. Something elemental answers for the both of us, our bodies colliding like two boulders careening down opposite mountainsides and crashing into each other. Kissing him is my salvation, making me realize how Jason never stood a chance, and I was just going through the motions. I could have lost Easton by trying to conform to formalities that no longer apply to me.

I grip onto him like he’ll disappear if I let go. With each slant of my mouth, I accept and deliver the longing. It’s a battle of desperation to show the other how lost we were at the thought of being separated. That only adds fuel to the fire.

I slip my hands under his shirt, needing his skin against mine. I need his warmth melded with my own, any way to join us together. Spinning me around, he presses me against the wall, panting with the same urgency. We must look like a blur,flinging clothing, yanking down zippers, and grabbing at each other.

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