Page 74 of Silent Is The Heart

Oh. Well, I walked into that one.

Good talk, Leonard. Good talk.

“Your guy? He pull something on you?”

My guy? I wait for the disparaging remarks, remembering he saw Aaron and I kiss when he broke my shower. Side-eyeing him, I find him waiting curiously for an answer, not an ounce of derision on his face.

“Someone’s conninghim, and I don’t know what to do about it,” I mumble just so he’ll quit looking at me.

“The old fear of God is a good way to start.”

Yeah, because Jason looks like a bible-toting man. And, uh, is that what Leonard tried to do to me and Mom back in his tirade days? What a wonderful source of advice I chose.

“It’s his husband. I don’t think I’ve got the right to put the fear of God in him, even if I want to.”

Good. He finally shut up.

Where are the fucking goats? I couldn’t care less about wall colors.

“You sure you’re not the one being conned by both of them?”

“I’m not as fucking stupid as you think I am.”

“I’m just saying…your mother and I had our problems, but not once did either of us ever stray.”

Oh, the fuck he didn’t. Springing out of my recliner like an ejection seat, I level my index finger at him over my beer bottle.

“You don’t get to fucking talk abouther!” Just in case his brain does that thing where it tells him to speak when he shouldn’t, I add, “Ever!”

Tromping to the kitchen, I polish off the rest of my beer, trying not to let his moment of stupidity push me over the edge. They had their problems? He freaking caused her death. How can he honestly think I’d be receptive to him claiming he loved her once? That’s all null and void once you contribute to someone’s demise. The fucking idiot.

“Easton…”

Ugh… it’s speaking again. Of course, it is.

“I can’t take it back. Iknowthat, but I’d do anything to take back what I did.EverythingI did.”

Gripping the handles of the refrigerator, I suck in a deep breath and lean my forehead against the cool stainless steel. “Stop,” I warn. “I don’t want to hear it.”

I don’t open my eyes until I’m convinced he’s finally shut up for good. Sighing, I wrench open the door and grab another bottle from the twelve-pack I bought earlier. If Leonard doesn’t like it, he can go to a meeting. Maybe he’ll find someone there who wants to adopt him as their recovery houseplant. Just set him next to your couch in front of the television. He’ll love it there.

My ass barely lands back in the recliner when that rough, old voice floats across the room again.

“Your guy…he’s off with this husband of his, I take it? Is that why you look like a dog’s ass?”

I spare him an unimpressed look as I kick my boots off with my feet and let themthunkto the floor. If we’re going to start exchanging compliments, I’ve got a few in mind for him that make a dog’s ass sound like a beauty title.

“He was dead.” I laugh at the absurdity of using the past tense. “A car accident. Faked his own death. Now, he’s back almost two years later, out of the blue, like nothing ever happened. Who does that?”

I’m getting better at shutting him up. I bet they don’t even hear stories like this in prison very often.

“And your guy?” he finally asks.

“Aaron. His name is Aaron. Okay? And he’s obviously notmy guyif he has a fucking husband again now.”

“Is he…okay with this?”

I wish shaking my head would bleach my brain of the entire ordeal and this conversation. “No,” I mutter, because Aaron clearly wasn’t okay with it. “I don’t know,” I add just as quickly. Because some dumbass lost his cool the other day and probably drove him to be okay with it. “But he’s not like us. He’s…good. He’stoo good,and I can’t stop him from being too good.” I don’t know why I’m still talking other than I want it out of me and I don’t know how else to purge the pain. “I don’t want to. It’s what I…”

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