Page 73 of Silent Is The Heart

Whirling around, his eyes are wide. “What?”

Why did I say that? It clearly didn’t help my case, and I don’t feel any better spilling Easton’s secrets. “It’s not about our pasts,” I explain. “We barely dated before we moved in together, and then we got married shortly after that. If we’re being honest with ourselves, we hardly knew one another.”

“And you know this guy so well?”

This time, I know exactly what to say. I only hold back a second to soften the blow.

“I do.”

The words fill me with warmth, knowing they’re true. Idoknow Easton. I know he’s just hurt and feeling betrayed. I can fix things with him; I’m sure of it, just as long as I stick to my guns for the rest of this conversation with Jason. Easton is my future. Jason isn’t.

I watch the way his teeth seem to be grinding. I’ve never seen him look so humbled or… humiliated.

“I have some things to take care of before I leave,” he mutters off-handedly, stepping closer, but then looks me in the eye. “Maybe we didn’t know each other, but we had a life together. It meant something, didn’t it?”

Jesus, this is not how I thought my marriage would end up when I said ‘I do.’ It’s so damn heartbreaking, but I can’t see any alternative, even if Easton wasn’t in the picture. We’re not… right for each other.

My voice comes out choked with emotions over our shared loss of shattered dreams from long ago. “Of course it did.”

That seems to appease something in him. He lets out a long exhale and walks to the door, pulling his coat off the hook. “I’ll come see you in a few days—before I go,” he says, picking up his bag.

The unspoken message is clear—to see if you changed your mind. I don’t want to have this painful conversation again, but maybe it will sit better with him if he sees my answer hasn’t changed in a few days.

Hand on the doorknob, he steadies his gaze on me. “We have our whole lives ahead of us to make it better,Aar. We’llnever know if it could be if we don’t try again. Try to remember that.”

The cold air gusts inside as he exits, washing away the tension in the room and thinning the lingering scent of his cologne. My lungs stop aching instantly. I don’t need a few days. I dig down deep, trying to feel guilty about that, but the guilt never comes.

CHAPTER 36

Easton

Another night hanging out with Leonard while creepy-assnot-deadReider is doing God knows what with or to Aaron. Yahoo! I love my fucking life.

Taking another draw off my beer, I glare at the episode ofFarmhouse Fixerplaying on my living room TV. Leonard’s affinity for modern television shows is astounding. Did they not have cable in prison?

It decides to speak because it doesn’t remember the rules. “You know, burying yourself in a bottle isn’t going to fix our disagreements.”

Where in the hell did that come from? Can’t a guy just sit here and contemplate if the man he hates most in the world is considering buying goats and renovating a colonial building?

“Not everything’s about you.”

He must miss the sincerity in my warning because he follows up with an open-minded, “Then try me.”

Am I drunk or did Leonard actually just offer to be my therapy couch? He’s been camped out on that thing for too long if he’s taken on the persona of one now.

Holding up a hand, he adds, “I’ve fucked up enough stuff in my life, I’ve gotten pretty good at fixing things.”

Oh, please. Why can’t they just show some goats so he can return his attention to the TV?Fixing things?What, pray tell, would he have gotten good at fixing in prison?

“Mostthings,” he digresses more humbly. “Things that are forgivable.”

Ugh. If he even goes there, I’m going to lose my shit. He’s not going to stop talking, is he? Whatever. I can only listen to this shit in my head for so long.

“You ever meet any con men?” I ask off-handedly, like I couldn’t care less if he replies.

What the hell is the snort for?

“Prison’s full of con men.”

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