Page 28 of Daddy's Little Matchmaker

She scoffed. “No. I lost my virginity on prom night. Then in college, I dated and slept with three different guys over those four years. Plus, Austin and I had been sleeping together well before the engagement. He was a considerate lover and knew his way around female anatomy well enough.”

“Then you found kink on the internet and…?”

“And I didn’t want to admit it. I thought if I just loved him enough and focused on my family, those thoughts and feelings would go away. And then I got pregnant when I was twenty-five, and had the twins at twenty-six. That took all of my energy for the next couple of years. When the twins were two, I got on the internet more and began reading kinky stories. Eventually, once the boys were three, I got up the courage to tell Austin. It didn’t go well.” She took a big gulp of wine.

The waiter came back with two small bowls. “Leek soup.” He set a cup in front of each of them and took the empty cheese puff plate away.

They both had a spoonful of the soup.

“I’m not a huge fan of leeks, but it’s not bad,” Tessica said.

“Leek soup has grown on me over the years,” Connor commented before taking another spoonful.

They dined in silence for a few moments. When Connor’s soup was gone, he said, “I never told my first wife about my kink. I assumed she’d hate it, so I kept it to myself. Who knows, maybe she would have been a fan. But it wouldn’t have mattered, because she hated being a military wife. She wanted a husband who could be home with her. And I loved military life and flying, so we were never going to be compatible for long.”

“I was always surprised that you never got remarried.”

“I had two other long-term relationships. One vanilla and one kinky. The kinky one could have ended in marriage if I was willing to have kids with her, but I wasn’t.”

“What was it like being in a kinky relationship?” she asked. “Was it freeing?”

He nodded. “Freeing is a good way to put it. I didn’t have to hide my porn or suppress my impulses around her.”

“Sounds nice.”

“It was.” After a short pause he said, “Tell me what you meant when you said your husband didn’t take it well when you told him about your kink.”

“He called me disgusting. Called me a pedophile. Said it turned his stomach. Said if I ever brought it up again, he’d divorce me and take my kids away.”

“Fuck.” Connor put his arm around her again. “I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged and took another sip of wine. “We never spoke of it again. But after that night the sex became… rough. No kisses or gentle touches. And he never even tried to make me orgasm after that. Just used me for his pleasure. But even that dwindled. I don’t know when he first cheated, but I think the boys were about six the last time we had sex.”

“Why didn’t you divorce him?” Connor asked, anger in his tone.

“I was terrified he’d tell a judge about me, get custody, and never let me see my kids. And since he wasn’t abusive, I didn’t?—”

“Define abusive,” Connor interrupted with a scowl, “Because it sounds pretty fucking abusive to me.”

She scowled back at him. “He never hit me or yelled, and he always encouraged me to do whatever job I wanted. We made all the big financial decisions together as equals. And he was a great father, very involved in the boys’ lives. He coached Little League and took them on camping and fishing trips every year.”

Connor shook his head. “When you’re afraid to leave a loveless and sexless marriage, something isn’t right.”

She didn’t comment, because she knew he had a point. But she couldn’t go back and change the past.

The waiter came by and set a plate down in front of each of them. “For your main entrée, we have Coq au Vin.”

“Thank you,” Connor said.

“Coq au Vin?” Tessica asked once the waiter was gone.

“Chicken in a wine sauce with vegetables.”

Tessica nodded and took a bite. “Mmm, this is my favorite dish so far tonight.”

He tasted his and nodded. “I agree. It’s good.” After a few more bites he asked, “Since your husband stopped having sex with you when the boys were six, did you cheat, too?”

She shook her head as she chewed. “Never.”

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