Page 18 of Butcher's Honor

Chapter 8 – Ruby

I'm still standing at the window like some lovesick teenager, watching Joey's broad silhouette through his mother's kitchen window. I should move away, should stop torturing myself with what can't be. He made his choice clear enough when he left.

Tommy's drawings are scattered across the table, and I begin gathering them up, trying to focus on practical things. Tomorrow, I'll call my latest client, work on their website design, and be the responsible single mother I'm supposed to be. I'll forget about rough hands holding mine gently, about deep voices sharing secrets, about—

A knock at the door makes me jump, sending the papers fluttering to the floor.

It can't be.

But when I peer through the peephole, Joey's standing there, looking somehow both determined and uncertain. My heart leaps into my throat as I open the door.

"Did you forget something?" I ask, aiming for casual and probably missing by miles.

"Yeah," he says gruffly. "My common sense, apparently."

Before I can ask what he means, he steps forward, one hand coming up to cup my face. His thumb traces my cheekbone, and I find myself leaning into his touch.

"Joey?"

"I'm not good at this," he warns. "I'm too old, too damaged, too deep in a world you shouldn't be anywhere near."

"I know." I reach up, covering his hand with mine. "You've told me all the reasons why this is a bad idea."

"But I want to try anyway." The words seem to cost him something to say. "If you'll let me."

Hope blooms in my chest, but I force myself to be careful. "What changed your mind?"

"My mom." He lets out a short laugh. "She reminded me that sometimes being safe isn't the same as being happy."

"Wise woman."

"Yeah, she is." His other hand finds my waist, drawing me slightly closer. "She also reminded me that I'm not my father. That maybe I deserve a chance at... something good."

"You do deserve it," I tell him firmly. "Even if you don't believe it yet."

"You don't know all the things I've done."

"I know enough." I step closer, tilting my face up to his. "I know you protect what's yours. I know you keep your promises. I know you let my son teach you about cookies and actually paid attention."

"Speaking of Tommy..." His thumb is still tracing patterns on my cheek. "This affects him too. We need to be sure about this."

My heart warms at his consideration for my son. "Tommy already adores you."

"That's what worries me. If this goes wrong..."

"Then we'll deal with it." I place my free hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating strong and steady. "But I think it's worth the risk."

He studies my face for a moment like he's memorizing it. "My world is dangerous, Ruby. People get hurt. People die."

"I know."

"The Outlaws—the rival club—they're pushing for war. Things could get ugly."

"I know that too."

"And you're still not afraid?"

I consider this. "I'm afraid of lots of things. Of failing Tommy, of Derek coming back, of not being able to make rent next month." I meet his gaze steadily. "But I'm not afraid of you."

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