Page 17 of Butcher's Honor

"This is different."

"Is it? That woman next door has already been through hell. So has her boy. They're stronger than you think."

"That's what worries me," I admit. "She's not afraid of me. She should be."

"Maybe she sees what I see—a good man trying so hard to be bad because he thinks that's all he deserves."

"Mom..."

"No, you listen to me," She leans forward. "That woman looks at you like I used to look at your father before he showed his true colors. But you know what the difference is? When she looks at you, you look back the same way."

Heat crawls up my neck. "I don't—"

"Don't lie to your mother." She smirks. "I saw you through the window, holding hands over cookies like teenagers."

"Jesus, Mom."

"What? I'm old, not blind." Her expression softens. "You deserve happiness, Joey. Even if it's complicated. Even if it's dangerous."

I push my food around my plate. "The club—"

"Will understand. Hellfire's been trying to get you to settle down for years."

"It's not that simple."

"Nothing worth having ever is." She takes a bite of pot roast. "But pushing away something good because you're afraid of what might happen? That's exactly what your father would do."

The words hit like a punch to the gut. "Low blow, Mom."

"Sometimes you need a low blow to see straight." She points her fork at me. "Now, are you going to finish your dinner, or are you going to go back over there and tell that woman the truth?"

"Which is?"

"That you're scared. That it's complicated. That you want to try anyway."

I stare at my plate, feeling like that lost kid again, looking to my mom for answers. "What if I mess it up?"

"Oh, baby." Her voice goes soft. "You probably will. We all do. But that's not a reason not to try."

The food sits cold between us as I wrestle with everything she's said. Finally, I stand up.

"Where are you going?" she asks, though she's already smiling.

"To make things right." I lean down to kiss her forehead. "Thanks, Mom."

"Anytime, baby." She waves me off. "Go get your girl. And Joey?"

I pause at the door.

"Bring them for Sunday lunch next week. I want to meet them properly."

"Getting ahead of yourself, aren't you?"

Her knowing smile follows me out the door. "A mother knows these things."

As I cross back toward Ruby's house, I see her silhouette still at the window. Waiting. Maybe Mom's right. Maybe some things are worth the risk.

Only one way to find out.

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