Page 37 of James

After their bags were filled to the brim and the three of them had had enough of walking, Laura and the kids took the bus over to her place. She turned on the oven andthe children sat at the dinner table. She produced three vases and gave one to each of the children to fill. “How about we make a vase for Granddad, one for your house and one to keep here? Meanwhile I’ll put a pizza in the oven, and we can invite Mom over for dinner.”

After the enthusiastic cheers had subsided, Laura went to make the call.

Suzie came right over to the Laura’s place and admired the works of art. “How beautiful. You’ve really collected a lot, Abby. Well done!” She stroked her daughter’s hair. She went over and hugged her son from behind. “You really have an eye for detail, Tim. Look how beautifully these colors coordinate. You’ve put a lot of effort into it.”

He shifted a bit uncomfortably. “Mom, I’m eleven. I’m too big to get hugs from my mother.” But the boy leaned into his mother as he soaked up her praise.

“You’re not too big. I was still getting hugs from my mom at fifteen, and I loved them,” Laura informed him.

“But you’re a girl,” Tim interjected. “That’s different.”

“I don’t think so,” said Suzie. “I would miss it if I couldn’t hug you anymore, but if you’re really uncomfortable with it, I can stop.”

“Well, Josh said we’re going to be men soon and letting your mom hug you is gross,” Tim said uncertainly. “It’s not that I don’t like it. I don’t know.”

“So Josh thinks mom-hugs are gross?” Suzie asked, crinkling her nose. “That boy eats his own boogers.”

Tim didn’t smile.

Laura knelt next to the chair and said to Tim. “How about this? What if Mom and I don’t hug you, but if you want, you can hug us instead.”

Tim’s face lit up. “That’s a great idea, Aunt Laura.” And he turned and hugged her so hard she lost her breath. Abby, not to be ignored, slammed into both of them and they tumbled to the floor giggling and laughing.

Suzie went to the oven as it beeped and took out the sizzling hot pizza. The sisters made eye-contact over the heads of the children and Suzie mouthed a quiet ‘Thank you’ to Laura.

Tim and Abby, armed with napkins and slices of pizza, settled on the couch to watch television. The sisters wiped the table and sat down together to eat their meal.

Suzie laid her hand on Laura’s arm. “I’ve been giving some thought to what you said. I don’t know James so I can’t say if I like him or not. I get you have good sex with him and sex with Jake was mediocre at best.”

Laura snorted.

Suzie grinned and turned serious again. “Okay, sex with Jake was bad. What I want to understand is, how you can be confident James will keep you safe and respect your limits once you’re tied down?”

Laura explained the use of safewords and how James had stopped and talked with her after she used ‘yellow’ the first time they were together. “I used ‘red’ once and he backed off immediately. That wasn’t during a scene, but at the munch where we reconnected.”

Suzie nodded her understanding. “I still think it’s risky to let yourself be tied up by a man you barely know, but I do get how hot it could be. I can imagine having a man take control in bed.” She blew out a loud breath.

“Oh yeah, that’s pretty hot, believe me.” A warm blush crept up Laura's cheeks. “But it isn’t just in bed. You see, James wants to have control in more aspects of my life.”

Suzie frowned. “In what way?”

“Not like Jake,” Laura assured her. “He won’t control who I see or where I go, and I would never let him anyway. All he wants is for me to be safe, happy and healthy.”

“And he doesn’t trust that you can do those things for yourself?”

“I don’t always trust me either.”

Suzie recoiled in shock, blinking rapidly. “How can you even say that? You were the one who stepped up when Mom died. You were the one who held me together when Richard was ill. And without you, your office would fall apart, you know that! You are a smart, strong, extremely capable woman!”

Laura smiled ruefully. “Yes, and it’s easy to be that woman when I’m doing things for other people. When it comes to taking care of myself, it’s a different story. Think about my weight loss group. I already knew I was eating too much and I knew how to improve my diet, but for reasons I don’t understand, my health just wasn’t enough of a reason to stick to the plan. I needed the group to give me the support and the accountability of weekly weigh-ins to finally take charge of my own eating habits.”

“Okay, that makes sense to me, but how does James factor into this?”

“One of the things I’m thinking of asking him for help with is exercising. You know how hard it is for me to make time for it, even when I know I should. Left to my own devices, I’ll come up with reasons to skip it more often than not. So I’ll see James next Wednesday and discuss it with him. He'll help me work out some safe exercises and set reasonable goals.”

“Can’t your weight loss group do that, too?”

“But James can hold me accountable in ways the group can’t. And I need that,” she insisted before Suzie could interject another sarcastic comment about spankings. “I need someone to tell me what to do, to take care of me when I just can’t be bothered to take care of myself. Not because I don’t know any better, but just because I’m tired of having to make all the decisions all the time. When I’m doing too much, I want someone to tell me to stop, not that it’s okay to stop, but just, ‘Stop.’ And if I don’t, there will be consequences.”

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