Page 109 of Something Like Fate

“How could you say something like that? You’ve had two visions.”

“Okay, but you guys have visions daily. I’ve hadtwo. In my whole life. And up until a few months ago, I was the only woman in our entire family not to have the gift. I know how frustrated you and Ellen were that summer you first tried to mentor me. And I already know my dad wishes I stuck with forensics. I’ve disappointed literally everyone.”

Mei shakes her head. “I still remember the day you said your first word. Your mom put you on the phone and you said something that sounded like ‘Bubhuh,’ which your mom was convinced was ‘Mama.’” She smiles toward the frosted window, face lit with nostalgia. “Between you and me, it sounded nothing like ‘Mama,’ but I let her have it.”

I can’t help but tear up, thinking of the photo of my infant self in my mom’s arms.

“When you were born, your grandfather made a joke about you being a scientist like your parents. And you know what your mom said?”

“What?”

“She didn’t care if you were dumb as rocks, as long as you were a good, kind person. Not that you’re a dummy, or anything of the sort.” Our teary eyes catch and she wraps her arm around my shoulder. “Butyou are the kindest, most good-hearted young woman I know. You have to stop being so hard on yourself. We love you for who you are, not what you do.”

I blow the air from my cheeks, running my finger over a loose thread on the bedspread. “It’s just, everyone used to talk about how talented Mom was. It felt like an unspoken expectation that I’d follow in her footsteps. And finally, when I had my vision, it felt like I might be. But after all those years of wishing to have these abilities and knowing who my soulmate was, it didn’t feel like I dreamed it would. I felt ... I feel ... suffocated by it.”

“I understand how you feel. There was a period when I had a lot of resentment toward the family gift.”

“You did?” Mei has always struck me as so proud of our legacy.

“Well, you know I don’t like being told what to do,” she says with a wink. “When I was growing up, I hated the idea that there was someone predestined for me. Your mom and Ellen were so excited about the prospect, dressing up as brides and pretending to get married in the backyard. Meanwhile, I hated feeling like I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I was bi and didn’t know it yet. I didn’t understand why the idea of finding a husband—a soulmate—getting married, and having children felt so lackluster. I thought I had two choices: be completely alone and probably disowned by your grandmother, or destined for a life of unhappiness with some boring salesman in a bad suit named Dave or Larry.”

“Larry! I can’t even imagine that.” We both cackle at the thought.

“Larry with a bad comb-over.” Mei’s whole body shudders. “That’s why I was so frustrated. I dated a bunch but could never bring myself to get serious. There was always this cloud over my head telling me it wasn’t going to work out in the long run. That Larry was out there waiting for me. But then I realized something.”

“What’s that?”

“Remember I told you about when our family first came over and started integrating Western psychic practices, right? All the drama?”

I nod, sitting up, propping my back against a pillow. “Great-Aunt was super against it. She didn’t want Western practices to dilute tradition.”

“Generally, yes. But her biggest issue was that there are some big differences in philosophy, one being the understanding of fate.”

“Really? How so?”

“Western fortune-telling looks at fate kind of like a self-driving car. It has one destination, and regardless of the choices you make in life, you’ll always wind up charting the same course. But in traditional Chinese fortune-telling, fate and fortunes aren’t set in stone. For example, I could give you a reading right now, and what I tell you in this moment could be correct.”

I nod, trying to follow her logic closely.

“But free will is equally important in Chinese fortune-telling,” she explains. “It’s all about maximizing strength and timing to achieve the best possible outcomes, all of which can change depending on the decisions you make.”

My mind reels, attempting to revise everything I thought I knew. “So, what you’re saying is, fate isn’t necessarily predetermined?”

“If you were to survey our family, they’d all tell you something different. Everyone has a slightly different interpretation of how it works.”

“What’s your interpretation?” I ask, desperate for some guidance.

“I don’t believe our lives have to be predetermined. They can be, but it’s up to you at the end of the day. Ultimately, for me, fate is about trusting yourself, just like you did with college. With coming home. You knew that direction was wrong for you, so you changed course. And now, your life has a new path, a new fate, if you will.”

It was terrifying to make that choice. To trust myself enough to know that it was more than just being lazy, or not adjusting to the level of difficulty. It wasn’t even apathy or disinterest. It was this overwhelming sense that college and the forensics path wasn’t the direction I was supposed to take with my life. And it took courage to finally do something about it. Even still, that pales in comparison to the decisionMom made. “I can’t even imagine how hard it must have been for Mom to choose Dad, to go against her family tradition. What if that was her consequence?”

“Absolutely not. The only thing it tells you is how much your mom loved your dad. And anything that’s a product of that love should never be disappointing in the slightest.” She squeezes my hand and my eyes sprout with tears, warmth brimming through my chest. I love my aunts.

Until now, I thought having the vision was my one tie to Mom. But now I know that’s not true. I’m connected to her through my whole family. It’s the way Mei looks at me with the same surprised look Mom has in all her photos. The way Ellen hums everywhere she goes. Apparently, Mom did just the same. It’s in their care for me, picking up in Mom’s footsteps.

“Thank you,” I say. “For being here for me my whole life. For literally hopping on a plane and flying halfway across the world to be there for me when I needed it. I love Dad and all, but I couldn’t have gotten through without you and Ellen. I haven’t told you that enough.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” Mei plants a kiss on my temple, then gives me a playful shake, bursting our sentimental bubble.

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