Page 110 of Something Like Fate

“You have no idea how happy I am to be home. Even if Dad ditched me for a cruise,” I tease, even though it couldn’t be further from the truth. He felt terrible about leaving me on Christmas Eve and was about to cancel until I convinced him not to. Sure, I wish I were spending it with Dad, but being with Ellen and Mei is the next best thing.

“Do you think you’ll go back?” Mei asks.

I think about that. “I don’t know. Maybe? That’s what I’m confused about. I was happy for a while with Caleb.”

“Let’s take fate out of the equation for a minute. If it weren’t a factor, would you still choose Caleb?”

“No,” I say, almost instantly. I’m surprised at how easily I answered based on pure instinct. “I’m not sure I ever truly loved him to begin with. Infatuation, sure. But I think what I loved most was the idea of him.” I loved the adventuring, the discovery. But when all thatwas stripped away, when we were just in a room alone, there was this distance between us I couldn’t put my finger on. It’s like lactose-free cheese—it should work in theory, but there’s something about it that isn’t right.

Mei dips her chin. “There you have it. Fate shouldn’t be a straitjacket, Lo. You should never feel forced to love someone. It should be easy, like second nature. Like breathing, so natural, you don’t even realize you’re doing it.”

I massage the moon tattoo on my finger. “Kind of like how I feel about—”

“Teller,” Mei finishes knowingly.

“But what about the vision I had about him? If our friendship is doomed to end, what’s the point in trying for a relationship?”

“Maybe it meant the end of your friendship and birth of a romance?” she suggests.

I shake my head. “No. It was too ominous for that. It felt like the end of us completely.”

She contemplates. “Our visions aren’t always representative of the future. Sometimes, they’re there to send a message. Maybe, in this case, it was trying to make you see how terrible life would be without him.”

And she’s right. It would be more than terrible. Maybe Teller isn’t my “fated soulmate.” But fate or free will, I can’t ignore how I feel about him. I may lack focus to stick with most things for very long, but Teller has been a steady constant since we met. He came into my life when I needed him most. He made me feel like I was someone. He managed to make every mundane and ordinary moment feel like magic.

Being with Caleb felt like being whisked away on life’s greatest adventure, but Teller feels like coming home.

43

Ever since I was a little girl, I imagined I’d be the subject of a grand cinematic gesture. You know, that final scene in the movies where one person runs across crowded New York traffic to confess their love in a dramatic fashion. They are sweaty, out of breath, and disheveled, but it doesn’t matter in the least. The other person finds it both bewildering and endearing because it’s clear evidence of how much they care.

I always dreamed of standing on a Romeo-and-Juliet-style balcony while my soulmate declared their undying love from below. Maybe he’d buy a thousand-dollar plane ticket just so he can get past security, then dash to the gate as everyone’s boarding and convince me to stay, moments before I’m supposed to depart the country forever.

I definitely didn’t picture myself on crutches, with my aunt as chauffeur, blasting “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” on Christmas Eve. But here we are.

“So you’re still not sure if he’s actually single?” Mei shouts over the music.

“He doesn’t post on social media. Bianca told me Sophie’s socials haven’t been that active either,” I explain.

She gasps. “Going dark on social is one of the telltale signs of a breakup!”

“Lots of people go dark around exam time,” I point out.

Mei makes atffsound. “Your generation has such an obsession with mystery and intrigue. I miss the days when people set their Facebookrelationship status toSingle. OrIt’s Complicated. That was always gold. That’s how you knew it was messy,” she adds.

I crack a smile. “For real?”

“After the relationship status, they’d drop passive-aggressive life quotes about self-love and narcissistic behavior. Then there’d be an onslaught of look-at-me-I’m-so-happy-living-my-life photos. On the beach. At bars. Usually, a new haircut thrown in there too.”

I chuckle at the thought of Teller changing his relationship status toIt’s Complicatedand posting one of those angled selfies.

“You sure he’s home?” Mei asks as we pull into the driveway behind his mom’s Subaru, snow crunching beneath the tires.

“I have no idea,” I say, peering in the bay window. Someone is home, based on the lights inside. “He was here as of three days ago, when Bianca saw him at the coffee shop. But if he’s still with Sophie, it’s totally possible he could be with her family.”

Mei helps me maneuver to the door with my crutches. Normally, I’d insist on going alone, but the ice is hazardous. Before she makes it back to her car, the door swings open. It’s Kurt, Teller’s oldest brother. He’s all bundled in his winter gear, ready to head out.

“Oh, hey, Lo, Merry Christmas,” he says casually, brushing past me.

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