Page 59 of It Should Have Been Me

Scott:I can see how that can turn a person off online dating apps.

Kiesha:Who said anything about being turned off? I rode ALL them dicks.

Scott:Holy shit!

Kiesha:And I didn’t call none of them the next day, so what I’m saying is that you can’t find love on these apps...but you can find you some good dick.

Laughter erupts, and that’s all I hear for a full thirty seconds. At this point, I’m folded over the kitchen counter laughing, too. It’s obvious why Isa loves her job so much. It’s non-stop fun.

Scott:Guys, let’s cut it...I can’t...I just can’t.

Isa:No! You stay in it and finish off like a man!

Kiesha:You know, you look like you just stepped off the cover of GQ magazine.

Scott:That’s very kind of you. Thank you.

Kiesha:Are you single?

Scott:Uh...yeah. Very single. My EX-girlfriend thinks my life is boring. Little does she know I get to meet people like you every day. Tell her I’m not boring and mediocre, Kiesha.

Kiesha: He’s not boring. This guy right here is so much fun. And he’s hot, too. Girl, how’d you let this fine man go? He’s such a catch.

Scott:Aw, thanks, Kiesha, but she can’t hear you. She’s not fricken here!

Tommy:Careful, Scotty. Your broken heart is showing.

Kiesha:Is this a recent breakup?

Scott:Nah, it’s been a year.

Kiesha:And you still so whipped? Coochie must be good.

Scott:You have no idea.

Kiesha:I think I can make you forget all about her.

Scott:I doubt that...but I’m not opposed to you trying. You’re adorable.

Damon:Scott, you’re not allowed to flirt with the guests.

Kiesha:Yeah, let me lay some good loving on you. I bet you can put it down like a Don.

Scott:I can.

Kiesha: You wanna show me?

Scott:You don’t want me to buy you dinner first?

Tommy:Some professional lines are being crossed here, Scotty.

Kiesha:Let’s skip dinner and go straight for breakfast. Ima let you know exactly which kind of sausage I like in my mouth.

His heartfelt laughter booms through the speakers again, setting off Tommy and Isa as well, and I can’t help but laugh with them.

Scott:Guys, I’m out. Kiesha and I are going for breakfast.

Tommy’s voice comes through the airwaves to conclude the snippet before they head into another song, and I’m still grinning. God, he’s adorable, a natural flirt. From what he’s told me about the women he’s slept with since we broke up, I know he didn’t follow through with that. I can almost guarantee that they didn’t even hook up, but my charming ex probably still took her out for breakfast. The entertainment value of that snippet is pure gold, but I heard more than jokes and giggles. What also came through loud and clear was his pain.

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