Page 81 of Wandering Closer

When I picture my future, I see Thoren. I see slow mornings on the back porch, book signings in Seattle, Shadow chasing our kids through the yard, and weekend dinners with his parents. I want that with him more than anything, but I needtrust.Can you have love without having trust?

The wind picks up in the clearing as I realize I have been sitting here for over two hours. The air has taken on the wet scent of rain, and I know it’s coming. I throw on my backpack for the trek back as a chill seeps through my sweatshirt. I never should have come out without checking the weather first.

Two minutes into the hike, the pitter patter of early rain surrounds me. A few rogue drops drip through the canopy the trees provide while I quicken my steps. In a matter of minutes, it turns into a torrential downpour. The trail quickly turns into slippery mud as I focus on my feet and begin a light jog.

I’m so focused on not slipping that when I take a break to catch my breath, I realize I don’t think I took the turn I was supposed to. All the trees and trails look the same out here, but surely something would have stood out, notifying me of the turn I was supposed to take. I suck in a deep lung full of the damp air, before jogging on.

I continue until a trail veers to the right, and I take it, hoping it’s correct. Keeping my eyes on the trail as the mud turns into puddles in spots, I keep pushing. The icy rain has soaked through my sweater and my legs are caked in mud.

I think I am almost to the next spot I need to turn, so I glance around, only to falter in my steps. My ankle twists and my feet slip out from under me. In an attempt to not fall in the puddle before me, I throw my body to the side, and that’s when everything goes black.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

thoren

Ihave had this pit in my stomach all day that something isn’t right. Lily was supposed to get the proof copy of her book today and she was so excited about it. I thought she would call me or at least text me to say if it was everything she hoped for or not. Instead, it’s been radio silence all day. I’ve chalked it up to her being on the phone with Andrea and her team talking it over, but even that doesn’t feel right.

The minute the clock hits five, I am out the door and headed to my truck. A nasty storm rolled in today, and Niles and I did several drives through the campgrounds to make sure everyone was faring okay. My windshield wipers struggle to keep up with the onslaught of rain and wind, but I don’t dare slow. The pit in my stomach is growing by the minute the closer I get to home.

It amplifies tenfold when I pull up to the cabin, and Lily’s car is noticeably absent. I throw Freya in park and run into the house, only to find an anxious Shadow waiting at the door for me.

“Lily?” I call, checking through the house. “Lily, honey, are you home?” My feet carry me room to room, but all of them come up empty. I slip my phone from my pocket and dial her number, but she doesn’t answer, so I leave a quick message. Ipace the living room, trying to think where she could be, before making my way to the kitchen in search of a note she might have left.

The minute I see her book and the opened envelope on the counter, I know I’ve fucked up. The logo from Kinsley’s firm is stamped in bold on the top of the pages, and I know that she knows. I sink onto the stool at the island, my head in my hands. I should have told her, why the fuck didn’t I tell her?

The wind shifts, pelting rain into the windows, as a shiver runs through me. Lily shouldn’t be out in this storm. I pull my phone back out and call Jake, but he hasn’t seen or heard from her. Michele is next, but she hasn’t heard from her either. She chews me out when I tell her about the bill she found, but then tells me she’s getting in the car to drive around town to look for her. My parents haven’t spoken to her, and neither has Amber.

Fear is pulsing through my veins as I try to deduce where she could be. I start a group text with everyone, asking them to let me know if they hear from her. By the time I change into warm dry clothes, the replies have poured in. Each and every one of them is going to drive around in this storm and look for her and her car.

With most of them in town, I head further into the woods. My gut is telling me that I know exactly where she is. I’m terrified to find out if I’m right, because if she went to our spot, she would be somewhere in the woods in the middle of a horrendous storm with no end in sight.

My heart stops as my truck pulls up to the small turn off to see Lily’s car in the parking lot all alone. I pull up next to her, heart in my throat, but she isn’t in her car. I try calling again and see her phone light up on her center console.

FUCK!

I dial Jake, who picks up on the second ring. “I’m still driving around, but haven’t found her yet,” he says gruffly.

“I found her car,” comes my fearful reply. “I need you to get the SAR team together for me. All the gear for a long search through the night, the sked litter, emergency blankets, all of it. Call Niles, he was staying late at the office, tell him to pull in every volunteer. The pull off by marker 87, the one with over fifteen miles of trails.”

“Thoren,” Jake interrupts. “Stop talking like a robot. She’s going to be okay. I’ll make the call, but I’m on my way to you. Don’t go off without me.”

“I don’t know how long she’s been gone,” I whisper the words I don’t want to say out loud. “I’m going in now.”

“Damn it, Thoren, don’t you dare. Ten minutes.” He hangs up to make the call to Niles. There is no way that I am waiting here if Lily is lost or hurt in these woods.

Reaching into my glove compartment, I pull out my map and a marker and scribble where I am heading first and where I think Lily will have been. I know she went to the waterfall, so that’s where I am starting the search. I place it on my dash in hopes of someone seeing it. I really wish I grabbed my hiking backpack, or any of my SAR gear at the house, but I’m not turning around for it now. Grabbing the emergency flashlight from the center console, I lock up my truck and head to the trail.

Jake’s truck races into the parking lot when I am five feet onto the muddy path. “Dick!” he yells out over the rain, throwing a heavy jacket on. “I knew you wouldn’t wait.” He jogs over to catch up with me. “Search and Rescue 101 - always go in pairs. Niles is getting the team together, and your dad and Michele are on their way. Let’s go.”

LILY

My head throbs with every pulse, my body shudders withuncontrollable shivers, and my ankle aches with a dull, throbbing pain. All I want is to roll over into the warmth of Thoren’s arms. The sounds of the pouring rain and rolling thunder forces my eyes to flutter open as I take in the trees, ferns, and muddy forest floor around me.

My fingers press at the painful spot on my head, wincing at the tenderness there. My fear spikes when my hand comes away streaked with blood. Trying to sit up, I gently roll my ankle to see how bad I tweaked it. Pain lances up my leg with the movement, and I can feel the swelling with the tightness in that boot.

Pulling off my backpack, I dig through for any help I have for this situation. I left my phone in the car like an idiot, so I can’t call for help. The emergency kit has some gauze that I press to the cut on my head, but it soaks up more water than blood. There’s also a small emergency blanket at the bottom that I unwrap and drape around me.

It’s getting dark, so I pull out the emergency glow stick and pop that, setting it by my side. I try to adjust myself a little further onto the wet pines and ferns instead of the muddy trail, setting my backpack against a tree trunk to use as a pillow. I could try to walk on my ankle, but with how slippery the path is, I won’t get far. Huddling the best I can under the silver foil blanket, I let my eyes close again, letting sleep take me under.

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