Page 82 of Wandering Closer

THOREN

“Lily!” I swing the flashlight around the clearing again, not seeing anything that points to her being here. “Lily!”

Jake comes tramping out of the woods, his phone flashlight in hand. “She’s not here. We should turn around and check the other trails.”

My legs give out, my body sinking to my knees. I thought for sure Lily would be hiding here, waiting out the storm. We didn’t pass her on the hike up here, and there were no signs of life, although the rain and mud would have washed away any footprints. She is somewhere out here, lost, scared, and possibly hurt, and it’s all my fault.

What the hell was I thinking not telling her? It seems so trivial now, keeping such a stupid thing from her. I know I could have convinced her to let me pay. I just chose the easy way out and this is what it got me.

Lily is my everything, my true north, the one true love of my life. When we find her, I swear to god, I am going to fix this and make her my wife. She has to be okay. I try to focus on the future we are going to have; the beautiful white dress she will wear, her belly swelling with each child we will have, her black hair turning gray and accentuating her beauty.

Jake grips my shoulder hard, pulling me from my spiraling thoughts. “Get up. She needs your head on straight right now. Do you know what time she might have come out here?”

“Mail comes around eleven. If she came right away, then she has been out here for eight hours,” my voice cracks on the last word.

“Then she needs us now. Come on, the rest of the crews should be out looking by now. Let’s try to get back to a spot with service so we can see which trails are being searched and where they need us.” He holds out his hand, helping me up and pulling me into a hug. “She’s going to be okay. She has to be.”

By the time we reach a spot with cell service, my phone is blowing up with messages.

Dad:

I stopped by your place and picked up Shadow. I figured we could use all the help we can get.

Michele:

I have extra clothes packed for her.

Niles:

I called everyone, fifteen made it in. Your mom set up some tents at the trailhead with hot food and drinks, and is manning the walkie-talkies and map with an Amber. We are in five groups of three, and your dad is with a woman and a dog on their own, too. We are splitting up the trails, so join whoever you find first. There’s no back-up teams, we are all gears going. We are going to find her tonight.

Unknown Number:

Hey this is Amber. Michele gave me your number. I closed the shop early and am helping your mom track where everyone is. I packed my car with every blanket I own and some random sizes of jackets from the store if anyone needs to warm up or get dry clothes.

Mom:

I sent some extra waters and two winter coats with your dad if you find him. I know you boys went out without thinking. Not sure if they will fit Jake though. Bring her home, son.

Fuck, my eyes prick with tears. I am grateful every day for this community, but right now, I feel overwhelmed with the loveand support. All for the beautiful woman who blew into town and tipped my world upside down with her gentle manners, kind smile, and striking blue eyes.

I make a quick call to my mom, getting a general location of my dad, and Jake and I make our way toward him and Michele. If anyone can find Lily, it will be Shadow.

I know these woods and these trails well, but in the dark, with the wind and rain still whipping around us, it’s easy to get turned around. Our boots squelch through the mud, trying to keep a decent pace to find my dad and to keep the chill at bay. It can’t be over fifty degrees out. I keep my feet moving, trying not to think of all the things that could go wrong for Lily right now.

After another thirty minutes, I hear Shadow before I see her. Her black fur keeps her hidden in the night, but my flashlight catches her barreling for us. My dad and Michele aren’t far behind her, and I am beyond relieved to see them.

“How you holding up?” my dad asks, pulling the jackets from his bag. We put them on, neither of us able to zip them up, but it’s better than the sweaters Jake and I currently have.

“Not great.”

“Well, let’s keep moving. Shadow seemed on a mission before she heard you two behind us,” Michele says, giving me a sympathetic look. The worry we are all feeling is palpable, but we keep moving, following Shadow, who keeps her nose to the ground.

Dad’s radio squawks, my mom calling out for updates on the location of everyone and checking in to ensure everyone is still doing okay. Slowly, the replies come through the static, and each one that verifies they have found nothing yet adds more pressure to my chest.

My dad radios in our reply, as we continue to search through the dark. Michele keeps her flashlight trained on the path while I keep mine on Shadow, and dad and Jake search the woodson either side. It’s slow going, but it’s important to not miss anything, and another thirty minutes pass with no signs of Lily. My chest feels like a leaden weight, each inhale a painful reminder of the empty space her absence has created.

Shadow’s sharp bark breaks through the deafening silence around us as she races into the distance. Before I can comprehend it, I am sprinting after her, hoping and praying she is leading me to Lily. Her paws stop in an instant as a small light illuminates her and a reflective surface. Shadow whines before her piercing bark continues until I am by her side.

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