Page 84 of Wandering Closer

As I approach her, my hands instinctively reach out, aching to wipe away the tear and offer comfort. “I’m so sorry, Lily. I have so many things I want to say to you, but I can’t seem to think of a single one. I just need to know you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” her soft voice cracks, so I grab the cup from beside her to give her little sips of water. Pulling the chair as close to her bedside as I can, I slipped my hands under the blanket to hold hers. “I’m so angry. At you, at myself, at that stupid storm.”

“I’m so-”

“No,” she interrupts me. “It’s my turn to speak now. I have a lot to say.”

A smile spreads on my face at my strong woman putting me in my place. “Go ahead, baby.”

“You should have never lied. You knew, Thoren. Out of everyone, you knew how important trust was to me. You knew how I felt about lies and being made a fool of. I am so mad at you for choosing to lie to me instead of trusting me to make the right choice in allowing you to help.”

She’s right. I know she’s right, and I have nothing to rebuttal. I’ve known from the beginning that lying was a bad idea, but I was so sure she would be stubborn and not allow me to help.

“There’s no excuse. I should have told you. I was going to tell you when you won the case, because you are going to win it. You deserve the right person fighting for you, and that person is Kinsley. I didn’t want money to hold you back when I could take care of it for you.”

“It wasn’t your choice to make,” her fingers lightly squeeze mine. “You know that, right? You see why I am upset?”

“I do. I am so sorry for lying, but I’m not sorry for making sure you are taken care of and that you get to right a wrong. I would do it over and over again. Anything to make sure you feel seen, you are heard, and you are validated. I’m not sorry for doing it, but I am sorry for lying about it. I never should have broken that trust with you.”

A nurse walks in then, breaking our tense moment. “How are you doing, Lily?” she asks, taking note of the monitors.

“Tired, but okay,” she says, as the nurse goes through several checks. She asks a series of questions and does a range of motion maneuver with her arms and legs.

“You’re making improvements, but you will have to stay another night or two for continued monitoring. We will be in every two hours to monitor your progress, and I am going to order some soup for you this morning so that will be down in a bit. Try to rest, and hit the call button if you need anything,” she smiles politely at me before stepping back out of the room.

When we are alone again, I brush the hair from her face, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. “I don’t want to be another bad guy in your story, but I told you before. I will do anything to protect you, and I felt that’s what I was doing.”

“You have a lot of groveling to do, and you are getting every penny back when I win.”

A genuine smile stretches across my face, and the tension in my chest eases, letting me take a full breath for the first time since I came home and found her missing last night. “Okay, baby, if that's what you need. Just know that every cent will go into a fund for our future. A ring for your dainty finger, your dream trip to Iceland, the wedding you’ve always dreamed of, and college funds for our kids.”

She shakes her head, a small smile gracing her lips. “I love you. I was so scared yesterday. So scared that I was going to die out there without getting to tell you that I want it all with you. Even mad at you, it was your comfort I wanted, your arms I wanted to find solace in, and your love that gave me the strength to stand up for myself. Knowing I could get angry with you, and instead of shaming me for it, you would be proud that I am demanding the respect and honesty that I deserve. I fought so hard to stay alive so I could see your hazel eyes and tell you that you are my everything, Thoren. Good, bad, and amazing–you are it for me.”

Tears prick at my eyes again, my hands cupping her face. I let the weight of her words fill me with warmth. As much as I hate the thought of her out there alone and scared, fighting to survive, I was reveling in the fact she was thinking of me. I know she never left my thoughts.

“I was scared, too. It was a bone deep fear that I wouldn’t find you on time. All I could think of was how much I love you. I love the way your blue eyes shine when the morning rays hit them, and the small smile that graces your lips when you take the first inhale of your morning coffee. I love the way you tuck your legs under you for comfort, and that you hum when you load the dishwasher. I love the way you wrap around me in bed, and stand on your tiptoes to wash my hair when we shower together. I thought I might never get to see those things again, and it broke me, Lily. You are my everything. I’m just so sorry for it all.”

“Come here,” she whispers through tears. I carefully climb into the bed with her, avoiding her IV, as I wrap myself around her. My hands trail down her cheeks and over her arm, soaking in the feel of her safe in my arms. “You can grovel later. Right now, I just need you to hold me while I sleep, okay?”

“Okay, baby.”

LILY

There’s a light knock at the door before Michele’s face pops around the corner. Her relief is instant when she sees me, her chin wobbling as she holds back her emotions. “Hi,” she says, eyes bright with unshed tears. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

I fight back a yawn. “No, the nurses just woke me for their check. He’s been zonked for about three hours now.” I run my hands through Thoren’s hair, his body carefully laid over me.

She pulls up the chair Thoren was in earlier, dropping a bag by her feet before grabbing my free hand in hers. “It’s good to see you with some color. You gave us all a good scare, and when you’re feeling better, I am going to yell at you for it.”

“If it makes you feel better, I scared myself. I never expected the storm, and then I got lost and fell, and it’s all a little hazy from there,” I wince as Thoren twitches, hitting my ankle with his foot.

He wakes instantly, blinking as he scours my face. “Are you okay?”

“Your big body is crushing her, so no, she’s not okay,” Michele quips.

He slowly sits up, careful not to smush me any more, and steps off the bed. “When did you get here?”

“Just a minute ago. Go get coffee and food. You look like hell, and I’ve got plans for Lily.”

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