Page 68 of Zane

“Let me contact Sarah and have a conversation with her. See where she’s at and tell her what’s happened.”

“Why would that be better?”

“I think it would be better for herandyou,” Lee said. “It would give me a chance to gauge how best to approach the situation for you and Kelsey.”

Zane’s first reaction to that was to say no.Hewanted to be the one to speak to Sarah, but he knew that Lee’s suggestion was probably better for everyone. And since he was being selfish enough as it was, wanting to contact Sarah, he should probably be considerate where he could be.

“She was a friend of mine too,” Lee reminded him. “So me contacting her wouldn’t be like a stranger was calling her up out of the blue.”

Perhaps it was the best compromise. However, it would require him to trust Lee to actually want to help him gain some sort of closure, and it was clear that he wasn’t keen for Zane to reconnect with Sarah.

“Will you be honest with me about what she says?”

“Of course,” Lee said. “I’ll be honest with herandwith you.”

“Okay. Then I guess I’ll let you do it,” Zane said. “But don’t put it off.”

“I won’t.”

Zane wanted to believe him. But knowing how his brother really felt about the situation, he wasn’t sure they’d agree on the best way for Lee to handle contacting Sarah. But it was out of his hands now.

“Have you tracked down any information on her yet?” Lee asked.

“I don’t have any contact info for her on my phone, and I couldn’t find her social media, so maybe she’s blocked me.” Which was probably for the best. He hadn’t wanted to see pictures that would indicate she’d moved on with her life.

“Okay. I’ll see what I can find.”

“You’ll let me know right away?”

Lee gave him a long look, then nodded. Slapping his hands on his thighs, he pushed up to stand. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Alone again, Zane stayed on the couch, mulling over everything. Imagining all the different ways the situation with Sarah could unfold. The jumble of thoughts made his head ache, so he got up and crutched his way to his room.

Though he wanted to go to wherever Lee was, Zane instead went to his bed and laid down. He covered his eyes with his arm, trying to calm his thoughts.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

The verse flitted through his thoughts. He’d memorized it as a child, and he’d heard many sermons about the verse, where pastors had used it as a reminder that God’s ways were not always easily understood. But even when he didn’t understand, he should still trust that God had a plan and would work things out for His honor and glory.

Zane realized in that moment that it wouldn’t bring honor or glory to God if he chose to abandon Kelsey, especially if he did so to reunite with Sarah. He’d known that—in his heart, he’d known it—but feeling so disconnected from the present had made him desperate for something that was familiar.

Zane knew he should tell Lee not to bother contacting Sarah, but he didn’t move. His head pounded, and all he wanted in that moment was to fall asleep and wake up with his memories intact. That would make everything so much easier.

He could get his job back, or at least, another job of equal importance, since he’d regain all the knowledge and experience he’d forgotten from the past few years.

But more importantly, he’d once again be past all the feelings he had for Sarah. He’d remember Kelsey and all the reasons he’d had for marrying her so quickly.

They could pick up the pieces of their lives and move forward.

If only his memory would just return.

He must have dozed off at some point because a knock on the door jerked him awake. “Come in.”

The door opened, and Lee stepped into the room. “Sorry. Did I wake you?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay.” Zane pushed himself up to sit propped against the headboard. He leaned down to scratch along the top of his cast, wishing he could reach inside and scratch where it really itched.

Lee came in and spun the chair from the desk around and sat down on it. “I’ve been in contact with Sarah.”

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