Page 65 of Zane

The idea left him a little unsettled. But would it leave him so unsettled that he’d ask her not to go? He didn’t know.

He just wanted to have the conversation, so he knew what was going on. There was already too much uncertainty in his life.

It seemed to take forever for everyone to eat and leave. As much as he loved his siblings, he was relieved to see them go. Kelsey helped Rori clean up the kitchen, making Zane feel like as eager as he was to have the conversation, she was the opposite.

“Why don’t you go on?” Rori said. “We’re pretty much done here.”

“Are you sure?” Kelsey asked as she hung up the dish towel she’d been using.

“Positive.” Rori came and gave her a hug. “We’ll be praying for you.”

“Thanks.”

“Want to chat upstairs?” Zane asked. He didn’t want to be interrupted, even though there was no one but Rori and Lee in the house. Still, his family could be unpredictable, and it was possible someone would pop back in for one reason or another.

“Sure.”

Together, they made their way up the stairs to the sitting area on the landing. There was overstuffed furniture in front of the fireplace, which hadn’t been used while he’d been there.

And they wouldn’t be using it right then, either. Cooler days were ahead, but it wasn’t fireplace and sweater weather just yet.

Zane sat down on the couch while Kelsey chose one of the armchairs. She didn’t relax back into it, however. She sat with a ramrod straight spine, her hands tightly clasped in her lap.

As he waited for her to speak, he saw her twist her wedding ring. Was she going to ask him for a divorce?

When she looked up, he could see turmoil on her face. “I think you should contact Sarah.”

Of all the things she could have said, that hadn’t even crossed his mind. In fact, her words rendered him momentarily speechless. He just sat and stared at her, dumbfounded and uncertain of how to respond.

“I don’t think we can move forward without you having some type of closure with her,” Kelsey said when he remained silent.

“Closure?” His first reaction was that he didn’t want closure, but that wasn’t a good response. It wasn’t the right one, given that he was married to Kelsey.

“Or not,” she said, her voice soft. “If things have changed for her, maybe you’d rather try to work things out.” She sighed. “I just need to know.”

Clearly, the unknown was weighing on her, too. “I don’t know what to say…”

“I’ve given it some thought, and if your memory never returns, we don’t have a hope if you can’t or don’t want to move on from Sarah… with me.” Her gaze dropped to her hands, and she fiddled with her wedding ring. “Of course I don’t know for sure that contact with her will help, but it feels like it can’t hurt the situation. It’ll hurt me if you decide to go back to her, but at least I’ll know and can move forward in my life without you.”

Zane frowned. For some reason, that didn’t sit well with him.

The wary expression on Kelsey’s face, her shoulders hunching forward, the way she twisted the rings on her finger—the rings he’d given her—all of it showed how difficult this suggestion was for her.

Could he do it? Was contacting Sarah the right decision? Ever since Kayleigh had suggested it, the thought had lingered more strongly in his mind. And now, here was Kelsey suggesting it.

There was definitely a part of him that longed to see Sarah again. But if she’d moved on with her life, did he want to have her reject him again?

“I think this is the only thing we can do now,” Kelsey said. “Whether or not I like it, I don’t think you’ll be able to move forward without having a conversation with her.”

The unfortunate circumstances they’d found themselves in were rare enough that there was no road map or guideline for how to move forward. No matter which direction they took, itseemed pain was inevitable for one or the other of them. Maybe even both.

Zane sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees. This felt like a monumental decision that he wasn’t sure he was capable of making. And he was strangely reluctant to do anything to hurt Kelsey. At least more than he already had.

But this might be what was needed to move them forward.

Part of him understood that he shouldn’t need to see Sarah to gain closure. He should be strong enough to accept—even without remembering—that they had broken up, and he, and presumably Sarah, had moved on.

But a larger part of him needed to understand what had happened. What had driven them apart when they’d talked about getting married one day? What had changed his commitment to his faith? What had seemed to switch in his outlook for his career?

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