Page 101 of Why Not Us?

“I know. I don’t imagine this is as good as Lis’ cake, but I can’t bake. So. The thing is, I want to apologize. I was an idiot, and I said a bunch of things I didn’t really mean and aren’t even true. I do want kids. I was just scared. Scared of having another situation like the one with Dani, where I have no control over what Katie and David do. Scared to only get to see my kid every other week. And yes, it’s a risk. But it’s a risk I’m willing to take. With you.” I shake my head. “Not right now. I mean. Fuck, I’m bad at this.”

She doesn’t contradict me.

I take a second to swallow past the lump in my throat. “I’m in love with you, Adalie. Probably have been since your birthday, when I offered you that ride home and you came with me. Even though you’d never ridden on a motorcycle before. Even though you were nervous. You were ready to try it. You’re ready to try anything. You’re so brave. Way braver than me. And this past week, I’ve come to realize, a life without you isn’t a life I want.”

I pause, but she still doesn’t speak. No one does, so we stand there in the quiet of Derek’s rooftop garden. Only the sound of cars and birds breaking the silence.

“I understand if you can’t forgive me. I just want you to know I love you, exactly as you are. And I’m sorry.”

She still doesn’t say anything, so I nod, then turn and walk away. I get all the way to the door at the top of the stairs, all hope that she might give me another chance fading away as I take the first step down.

“Nate,” she calls.

I freeze. My hand on the railing as hope floods me. I turn. She’s handed the gifts to Lis and taken a step forward.

“Get back here,” she says.

I don’t make her tell me twice. I’m across the roof fast, scooping her against me. Then I claim her lips. Her arms wrap tightly around my neck, like she won’t ever let me go, and I don’t want her to.

We break the kiss to the sound of applause from her friends. Adalie’s cheeks flush that gorgeous pink, and she shoots them all a glare that’s completely undone by the blush.

“Shut up, you guys.”

Derek sits, pulling Ava down onto his lap. “Hey. You clapped for me and Ava when we made up. It’s only fair.”

Adalie takes my hand and leads me to a couch where we sit together, my arm around her shoulders, and her snuggled into my side. She looks up at me with that smile, a sparkle in her eyes.

“You are so over the top,” she tells me. “All you had to do was say sorry.”

“I’ll always go over the top for you, princess. I can’t promise not to make any more mistakes, but I can promise to apologize faster next time.”

I dip my head to catch her lips again, needing to feel that smile pressed against me.

“Hey!” Lis shouts, causing me to break the kiss. “The rule goes for you guys, too. If we can’t make out,” she gestures between her and Spencer, “and they can’t make out,” she points to Derek and Ava, “neither can you.”

Adalie laughs, then looks at me again. “We were thinking of a game and dinner,” she tells me.

The conversation resumes, something about the number of people limiting what games they can play. I don’t pay attention. I’ll do whatever. As long as Adalie is next to me.

Chapter 34

Adalie

Nate insists on driving me home later. All night, he never stopped touching me. Either his arm was around me, or his hand was on my knee, or he was adjusting my hat so the sun didn’t shine in my eyes. Once the car is parked in my visitor's parking area, we sit there for a moment.

“Are you coming up?” I ask.

“I didn’t want to assume—” he begins.

“Assume,” I say, climbing out then looking back at him with a smile. “Come on.”

He follows me to the elevator, standing on the opposite side, watching me. It’s kind of cute how nervous he seems, but it’s also time for him to stop.

I lead him to my apartment and into my living room, where I sit down. “There’s a couple things I want to talk about,” I say.

He sits next to me, not too close, our bodies angled toward each other so only our knees are touching.

“You know I’m a little absent-minded sometimes,” I say, and he nods. “I’m not always the greatest at taking my birth control pills at the exact same time every day. I have. For the last few months. I have an alarm on my phone, and I’ve been really conscious of it. But my systems break down sometimes. I could talk to my doctor about an IUD, but it’ll take a bit to get in to see her, so if you want to keep using condoms—”

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