Page 92 of Why Not Us?

I sigh and go to bed.

Chapter 29

Nate

It’s the most miserable ride home I’ve ever had. I love riding my motorcycle. It brings me peace and makes me feel in control of my life and close to my dad. When he was alive, I would go to him with all my problems, and he’d help me work them out. I’d give just about anything to be able to go to him now with this.

Today, I go through the motions during my ride, my head filled with a sort of buzzing noise, and when I get home, I’m relieved. I eat because I have to, and the food tastes like cardboard. The image of Adalie, her heart broken—byme—haunts every second of the rest of the day. By the time I climb into bed later, I’m so angry with myself that I want to punch something. Maybe my face.

I pick up my phone and have her contact up, ready to put the call through before I stop myself. I want to hear her voice. I want to tell her I’m sorry and hadn’t meant any of what I’d said, but is that what she wants? I stare at my phone all night, debating, hoping she might call me, knowing she won’t.

By the time I get up in the morning, I haven’t slept more than a few hours, and I pull myself out of bed, my whole body feeling heavy. I drag myself to the kitchen, getting coffee ready. Taylor comes in before it’s finished, looking around the space expectantly.

“Where’s Adalie?” he asks.

I brace my arms on the counter in front of the coffee maker, willing it to brew faster. I don’t look at my brother.

“What did you do?” he asks next.

I glance at him. “Why do you assume it was somethingIdid?”

He doesn’t bother to dignify my idiotic question with a response. Of course it was something I did. Adalie is a fucking princess. She would never do something to tear my heart out. Why is it only now that I’ve realized this?

I sigh and straighten. “We had a fight. I said some things. She doesn’t want to talk to me.” I pour two mugs of coffee, setting one in front of my brother.

“Yesterday?” he asks.

“Obviously yesterday,” I reply with a snarl.

“So, how long are you going to leave it before you apologize?” He says it like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Like I could call her up right now and she’d forgive me for being a huge asshole.

“Didn’t you hear me? She doesn’t want to talk to me. She wouldn’t even let me give her a ride home yesterday.”

“You left her in Whistler?” he asks, and I can see in his face that he wants to punch me. Fuck, if he throws one, I’ll let him. I deserve it.

I shake my head. “She said she didn’t want a ride and walked away. She called her friends, and they came back to get her. I waited until she got in the car before I left as well. I wouldn’t leave her stranded. Even if she hates me, I wouldn’t do that.”

Taylor takes a slow breath and sits on a stool, pulling his coffee toward himself. “What the fuck happened?” he asks.

So I tell him. I tell him how much of a fucking asshole I was. How I’d started talking and couldn’t seem to get the right words to come out. The way she’d looked at me before she’d walked away.

When I’m done, I’m certain Taylor is going to hit me or, at the very least, tell me off. Instead, he scrubs a hand over his face.

“You dickhead. Apologize to her. Tell her you freaked. Tell her you didn’t mean any of it. Fucking grovel if you have to. Do not let this one get away.”

I stare into the black depths of my coffee. “Maybe she’s better off if she does.”

Taylor scoffs. “Guaranteed she is. But you need her. You’re in love with her. Fix this.”

“I’m not—”

He pins me with a sharp look. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Nate. I’m your brother.”

I shut my mouth and clench my teeth.

“Don’t believe me?” he says. “Let me ask you this. Who is the last person you think about before you fall asleep?”

The answer is either Adalie or Dani, but I don’t say that out loud.

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