Page 5 of Perilous Healing

The truth is, I don’t know what I believe. But I’ve seen so much evil it’s impossible for me to wrap my mind around the fact that there’s a greater purpose to it all. “I’d like to believe that. I really would.”

“Do you want to talk about what troubles you? Just friend to friend,” he replies with a smile. “And it will never leave this conversation.”

“Never?”

“Never,” he replies.

I consider. Truth is, I wouldn’t mind confiding in someone. I’ve always been too untrusting of therapists, and too nervous to make any friendships that go deeper than surface-level. I’ve learned that once you start digging, the past will bury you.

But since I trust the pastor, and I don’t see what damage could be done if anyone ended up finding out, I shrug. “Today’s my birthday,” I reply. “And I haven’t told anyone.”

“Why not?”

“It doesn’t feel like a day to celebrate,” I admit. It’s the day everything went wrong. The day my innocence was shattered, and I saw my life for what it was—a lie. A dangerous, blood-stained lie.

“Every birth is a miracle,” he says. “So birthdays are absolutely worth celebrating. Is there no one who knows? What about your parents?”

“Don’t have them.” It’s not a lie, given they’re both dead, but it still feels wrong.

“Well then.” The pastor smiles at me. “Let me be the first to say happy birthday, Bianca. And while I will keep your confidence, you really should tell someone. You deserve to be celebrated. Even if it’s just mentioning it to Kyra and letting her gift you one of her delicious birthday cupcakes.”

I laugh. “Now there’s an idea.”

“Think about it,” he replies with a kind smile.

I pull away. “Thanks, Pastor Redding. Have a good day.”

“You, too.”

“You deserve to be celebrated.”

As I turn away, I can’t help but remind myself that if he knew anything about me, he’d know just how false that statement is. Even a pastor would likely be disturbed by what he found lurking inside of me.

“Morning!”Lilly, the waitress and partial owner of Hope Springs Diner, greets me as she sets a mug of steaming coffee down in front of me. She sweeps her black hair off her shoulders and ties it back in a messy bun.

“Morning. You look rested.”

She laughs, her bright blue eyes sparkling with joy. “Baby finally slept through the night, and now I’m not entirely sure what to do with all of this energy I have.”

I laugh softly. “Glad to hear it. He’s a cutie. Alex brought him by the Knight Security office last week when he dropped off the coffee for our meeting.”

She practically swoons where she stands. “He’s perfect, and Sarah is just already such an amazing sister.”

“She’s a sweetie, too, so I can imagine.”

A familiar ache in my chest blooms. I’d wanted kids at one point, but even as disappointed as I am, I try not to be bitter. Still, it’s likely an impossibility, thanks to shrapnel I took in the abdomen during a patient transport overseas.

I suppose it just means that I get to spoil the children of my friends. Which is something that was also an impossibility until I’d moved here to Hope Springs after Lance Knight—a former Army Ranger I’d saved when we’d both been in the service—called me in to help track Michael after he’d gone missing.

Once I’d seen what Lance had built here, I knew I wanted to be a part of it. Even if I didn’t ask to come work for him until a few months ago.

“You want your usual?” she asks.

“Pancakes, eggs, extra crispy bacon, and a side of crunchy peanut butter. You know me well.”

Lilly grins and makes a note on the order pad she carries. “It’s my job as both your friend and local diner owner. We’ll get this right out.” She turns and leaves the table, so I take a drink of my coffee and stare down at the e-reader I brought with me.

Some probably think I’m reading a pulse-pounding suspense.

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