Page 6 of Perilous Healing

Or a swoony romance.

But it’s the Bible that is currently downloaded. I just don’t want anyone to know that I’m searching for answers. For understanding. Because letting them know that means I also have to admit that I’ve found none.

That right now, it all just feels like words on a sheet of paper.

I turn it on and start reading where I left off in Exodus, but I haven’t made it even a page when the bell dings over the front door.

I can feel him before I see him.

The blood-sizzling, bone-deep awareness that comes from being anywhere in Silas Williamson’s vicinity.

The nightmares come flooding back.

Being lost in a hot jungle.

Closing up the same wounds over and over again because his skin was so tattered the stitches wouldn’t hold.

“Bianca!” Little Eloise, his four-year-old niece, rushes over and wraps herself around my arm. I have to pull it free just to hug her back.

I force a smile, shoving the burdens of my past aside so I can focus on the beam of light that is Eloise Williamson. “Hey, sweet girl. How are you today?”

“You know, it’s my birthday.”

I grin at her as she smiles up with eyes that are so like Silas’s, she could be his daughter. Likely because her mother was his twin. “Is it really?”

She nods. “I’m five today.”

I give her a high five, happy that the one shining moment of today is that I get to share my birthday with such a wonderful little girl. “Happy birthday, kiddo.”

“Thanks! When is your birthday?”

My gaze lifts to Silas. Aside from Pastor Redding now, he’s the only one who knows…but does he remember? It was one of those things I told him about when we’d been in that jungle. When you think you may not survive to see another sunrise, the truth just kind of pours out.

Since he’s not even looking at me, I’m assuming he doesn’t remember—or doesn’t care. “Today is your day, kiddo. Don’t be worried about other people’s birthdays, just focus on your own.”

“Eloise, we need to get some breakfast before I drop you off at the library.” Silas’s deep voice resonates with a part of me that I try really, really, hard to separate from myself.

He makes me feel safe and scared.

Hopeful and hopeless.

Everything all at once.

All that I carry for him is a massive contradiction, but I know that’s only because he knows everything the others don’t. Secrets that I’d wanted to die with me in that jungle.

He could have buried me with them, but he’s kept each and every one. Who knows why, and I’m honestly afraid to ask. So I just continue pushing forward, pretending that Silas Williamson doesn’t hold the very keys to my heart. Keys that I gave to him when we’d been back in that jungle, barely surviving, with only each other to rely on.

Our connection is volatile now, but it wasn’t always like that. Back then, he’d been everything to me. Honestly, he still is. No matter how hard I try to push him away.

I meet his gaze. “Good morning.”

He grunts in response but doesn’t speak to me. Silas is a man of few words, sure, but with me, he prefers to pretend I don’t exist. I’m just glad he hasn’t tried to keep Eloise and me apart. Losing her happy smile would break my already tattered heart.

“Can we eat with Bianca, Uncle Lassy? Please?” She puts her hands together and sticks her bottom lip out in a pout. “It’s my birthday, please, please, please?”

He looks at me like he’s hoping I’ll tell her no, but I’m not that kind. “Okay. As long as it’s okay with her.”

“Fine by me. Come on, kiddo.” I scoot over and she climbs onto the booth seat beside me.

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