Page 10 of Riding Jamie

We both go through our day, checking in on the other tasks we’ve been assigned and finishing off our onboarding checklists. I shadow Alli for a few hours, chatting with her about the day to day of operations and how each quarter usually progresses. Wespend lunch together, and it’s really comforting to have someone more experienced that I get along with so well.

I head back to my desk as the day starts to wrap up, planning to check my emails one last time before clocking out. Just as I’m about to refresh my inbox, Shane leans over onto my desk with an easy smile.

“Do you want to grab dinner together after work?” he asks casually. “There’s this burger place down the street that people have been talking about in the breakroom.”

It sounds reasonable. Normal. Two coworkers getting dinner. It doesn’t mean anything more than the coffee and burrito he brought me this morning.

So why does it feel sowrong?

Is it just because he’s a guy? The fact that I haven’t known him most of my life? That he’s leaning so close I can smell his cologne? The fact that he smells like aftershave and soap instead of a barn?

“I…” I say hesitantly, leaning back slightly. “Sorry, Shane, I’ve got a ton of work to do for school. You know how it is.”

I laugh awkwardly as I turn my attention back to my computer, ignoring the fact that I finished all of the work I have for school last night. Shane shrugs, and I see him lean back over to his own desk in my peripheral vision.

He seems like he’s trying to be casual, but there’s a tension in his shoulders, like he feels uncomfortable. I don’t know how to explain to him that I’m just not used to any of this, but I don’t want him to think that I have an issue with him. I really do like chatting with him and hanging out, and I don’t want him to think otherwise.

“That sucks,” he sighs, “Jesse wanted to take all the new interns out, but it’ll be boring without you.”

I open my mouth to apologize, but he talks over me, his eyes sliding back to meet mine. His face is just as warm andwelcoming as it always is, and I can see understanding in his eyes. It makes me relax, knowing that even if he doesn’t know exactly why I’m being weird about this, that he’s not taking it personally.

“I mean, you have to eat regardless.” He laughs, the sound easy and jovial. “I figured it would be easier to go somewhere close to work for a quiet bite so you can just focus on working when you get home. We can always hang another time, if you want.”

I hesitate again, annoyed at my own inability to try new things. Shane has been nothing but sweet to me, and it’s not like he asked me out on a date. He just said he wanted to grab dinner, and we wouldn’t even be going alone. It’s basically a company dinner.

“You’re right,” I say, laughing awkwardly. “Yeah, I’ll join everybody. I just won’t be able to stay long.”

He smiles widely at me, his eyes crinkling at the corners before he turns back to his computer to clock out for the day.

“I’m glad,” he says. “I can drive us over there. I think Alli, Tracy, and Lex are going in Jesse’s car, so he’s full.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

My gut flips a little at the idea of going out in Shane’s car, but I roll my eyes at myself. It’s just dinner with my coworkers. Dinner with at least two people who I consider friends. I’m worrying myself over nothing.

By the timewe make it to our seats, food in hand, I’m already starting to regret letting Shane talk me into this. It’s nothing to do with him—hell, if anything, he’s the only reason I didn’texcuse myself before picking out an insanely overpriced burger. And the place is cute, kind of halfway between a diner and a fast food joint. Plus, Shane insisted on paying for my food, and a free meal can make pretty much anything better.

Thankfully, with so many people here, the chatter isn’t focused on anyone specifically. Stories and introductions are already getting tossed around the table by the time Shane and I find our seats, and I smile at him gratefully when he offers me the chair at the end of the table. It’s easy enough to settle in and start on my food, which is surprisingly good. I answer questions when they’re sent my way and show polite interest in other people’s stories.

I wish Phoebe was here, as she’s always been better at making small talk, but I manage pretty well.

“I still feel like I’ve barely even gotten to know you,” Shane says after the conversation tapers off a bit.

He takes a bite of his burger, nudging me with his elbow teasingly. Part of me wants to deflect, but this is how people make friends, isn’t it?

“Yeah, we’ve been pretty busy at the office,” I agree with a short laugh.

“Oh, come on,” he whines around a mouthful of his burger, “no work talk. We’re off the clock.”

I shift in my seat, taking a bite of my own burger as I try to figure out what to say. I haven’t really had to make friends since middle school, and I have approximately no idea what to talk about.

“Ok, ok, you’re right,” I agree with an answering grin. “This is pretty good.”

He raises his brow and snorts out a laugh as I raise my burger in a lame attempt at conversation.

“What next, are we going to chat about the weather?”

I blink at him in confusion, but the grin on his face looks like he’s trying to joke, to tease. It’s harmless. He’s playing around, like people do with friends. I roll my eyes playfully and remind myself that being friends with Shane is exactly what I’mtryingto do here. It would be helpful if I didn’t get in my own way.

---