Page 11 of Riding Jamie

“Alright, then, what do you want to talk about?” I ask, taking another bite of my burger.

Maybe if he leads the conversation, it won’t be so painfully awkward.

“I want to know about you!” he tells me, excitement obvious in his voice. “Where did you grow up? What’s your family like? Why are you out here?”

“Uh, well, Montana is home,” I start, doing my best not to think too much about memories of home. “Skyview Falls. I grew up on a ranch that my dad runs with my brother and my sister. My mom’s a veterinarian, so she takes care of all our animals and has a little clinic on the property. I moved out here to go to NYU. Nothing all that special, really.”

It hurts more than I expect it to when I talk about home. It doesn’t hurt like this when I talk to my family or to Phoebe, but telling Shane about it makes it seem like it’s all something of the past. Like I’ve really properly walked away from it all and left it behind.

The idea makes my stomach flip unpleasantly, and I take a sip of my tea in an attempt to soothe myself.

“So you moved out here and live with your aunt and uncle now, right?” he asks casually before popping a fry in his mouth. “Do they not have any kids or anything?”

I hesitate, setting my tea down before answering. It’s not like it’s a secret that my aunt and uncle don’t have kids, but it feels a little invasive to answer questions about them. And I know Shane’s just making conversation, but I still don’t feel like it’s something I should talk about.

“Well—I mean, no,” I babble, not really sure what else to say.”

“Oh, wow, I didn’t realize that,” he says with a laugh. “I figured you were just really close with your cousin or something. You must have a great relationship with your aunt and uncle. Lucky you, free rent.”

I scratch at the base of my skull anxiously, laughing along even though I’m trying to find literally anything else to talk about. Unfortunately, I’ve never really been great at being subtle, and I wind up just opening my mouth and blurting it out.

“I really shouldn’t talk about that with you,” I say, smiling hesitantly. “It’s not, like, it’s nothing aboutyou, you know? It just feels kind of weird talking about my family since they’re also our bosses. I just…I want to keep that separate from work.”

His brows raise in surprise, and I see his eyes widen, the pretty blue of them shining in the light of the restaurant. He looks taken aback, and I wince, hoping that I didn’t come off too harsh.

“No, no, I’m sorry,” he apologizes, reaching out to pat my shoulder in a comforting manner. “I didn’t realize talking about that would make you uncomfortable. Totally my bad. I want to get to knowyou, anyway, not your aunt and uncle.”

The apology makes me almost sag in relief, and my smile comes easier. I even manage to lean into the hand on my shoulder before shifting away slightly. He lets his hand fall without comment.

“Really, it’s fine,” I say. “You didn’t do anything wrong, I just?—”

“Hey,” he interrupts, meeting my eyes with a grin. “You don’t have to explain yourself. A boundary is a boundary. I won’t bring it up again.”

I blink at him in pleasant surprise, my heart stuttering in my chest. Shane isn’t anything like Jamie, he’s confident withoutbeing cocky, reassuring without being overbearing. It’s both a breath of fresh air and so shockingly different that it almost hurts.

I try to ignore my own thoughts, reminding myself that Jamie isn’there. He’s not part of my life anymore, and it doesn’t matter how different they are. Shane isn’t Jamie.

Besides, it’s not like this is a date. We’re just…getting to know each other. As coworkers.

As friends.

“Thanks,” I say softly.

He smiles at me, easy as can be, and grabs another fry off his plate. “Don’t mention it.”

My phone lights up with a text from Phoebe, and I wince when I catch sight of the time. I don’t actually have anything I have to get done tonight, but I was really looking forward to just vegging out on the couch with my aunt for a few hours. Plus, I already told Shane I couldn’t be out too late.

“I should probably get going,” I say apologetically. “Do you want the rest of my fries?”

There aren’t many left, but Shane gladly takes the little basket and adds the remaining fries to his own.

“Are you on a subway line?” he asks as I slip my phone into my bag. “It’s way too late for you to be walking home alone. I can pack this up and drive you home, if you want?”

My heart melts at the concern in his eyes, but I can’t quite bring myself to take him up on the offer. I want to take that step forward, but it feels so much like stepping away from Jamie, and that thought makes guilt drop like lead in my stomach. Jamie is nothing but a memory to me anymore, and even accepting a ride home from a friend still feels like cheating.

“I’ll be fine,” I promise. “I’ll get a cab.”

“At least let me walk you out,” he insists.

---