Page 42 of Finding Home

Shoot. I’m the one who stopped him, so why do I feel so disappointed he’s respecting my wishes? “Let’s go back into the house,” I whisper hoarsely.

He takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

“But only if you’re positive you’re going to stick it out. If not?—"

“I’ll stick it out.”

“You’re sure?”

“Let’s go.”

I turn around and start walking on wobbly legs toward my parents’ house.Crap. His lips werethisclose to mine. So close, my entire body felt like it was short-circuiting.

“No more slamming doors,” I mutter, as we walk shoulder-to-shoulder down the quiet street. “When I heard that slam, I flinched, so I’m guessing Raine did, too. Is that what you wanted? For the women in your life to flinch and be scared of you?”

Caleb looks decimated. Sick to his stomach. “No. That’s the last thing I want.”

“Then you have a fucked-up way of showing it.”

“I slammed the door because I was pissed at myself. Not at Raine.”

“You think she knows that?”

He exhales deeply.

“Look, you’re not a robot, okay? You’re going to have normal, natural feelings during frustrating experiences. But as a father, you can’t lose control of yourbehaviorin response to those feelings. Do you understand what I mean?”

“I’m not an idiot, Aubrey. Yes, I understand.”

He glares at me, but I don’t care if he’s pissed. If this were about him being a dick to me, I’d forgive and forget and leave it alone. But this is about Raine, and I can’t let her bear the brunt of his inability to control his impulses.

We’ve reached my parents’ porch, so I stop and stare him down before entering.

“You’re going to act like a parent now?” I ask, holding his pained gaze.

He nods slowly, looking like he’s physically biting his tongue; so I swing open the front screen, and step inside the house.

“Everything okay?” Mom asks, as we enter the living room. She’s sitting in an armchair with Raine on her lap and a cartoon show on the TV, while Dad sits on the couch with his leg up.

“Everything’s fine,” I say brightly. “Caleb just needed a breather.”

“Sorry about slamming the screen,” Caleb mumbles. “It won’t happen again.”

Mom smiles reassuringly, with far more compassion than he deserves, if you ask me. “Emotions are high,” she says. “This is a tough situation.”

“That’s no excuse,” Caleb says. “I’m the adult.” He looks at Raine. “The parent. I can’t do that sort of thing, ever.”

Mom shoots me a look that says,How did you do that?But to Caleb, she says, “You’re still learning, honey. Nobody’s perfect.” She kisses the top of Raine’s hair, but Raine is too sleepy and cozy against her chest to react.

“I think you should keep her here again tonight,” Caleb says. “Baby steps. We’ll try again tomorrow.”

Mom nods and replies, “I think that’s for the best. You two come back bright and early in the morning for breakfast, and we’ll try again.”

Caleb scratches his inked bicep. “Would it be okay if I slept here tonight, too? I don’t need a bed. I can sleep on the floor.”

Mom looks confused. “Why do that, when you can drive twenty-five minutes and sleep in your own, comfy bed?”

Caleb’s soulful eyes are trained on Raine’s groggy face, as she watches the cartoon and ignores the world around her. “If she wakes up with another nightmare, I want to be here.”

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