Page 4 of Anastasia

One thing I love about Alex was her intelligence. I knew that when she spaced out, it was her intellect putting things together. Her mind had a way of solving the impossible equations of life.

“I’m chucking a sickie,” I told her. She looked up at me, then rolled her eyes playfully. The longer I looked at her, the more I didn’t want to ever leave her side. What hurt the most was realizing that my sister may be dying.No, she’s going to live no matter the cost—I will do anything to make sure she is okay.

Her eyebrows rose as she looked at me. I quickly averted my eyes and picked up my phone. Alex hated signs of pity almost as much as I did. Not many people in the world can say that they like to be looked at with sympathy when they were struggling. For me, it was like someone was rubbing it in my face—that there was a thick wall blocking me from a solution.

“Mum isn’t answering,” I said, setting my phone down on the hospital’s bedside table.

“Go, swing by the house and check on her. I don’t trust that man we saw her with,” Alex replied, a frown on her lips.

The nurse walked back in and handed Alex some pills and water. Heading out of the room, the nurse gave me a small smile.

My sister already looked comfortable and ready to fall right back to sleep as she rolled over onto her side.

“I don’t want to leave you here by yourself. What if your doctor gets here?” I asked, grabbing a hold of her hand. From her words about not trusting the man, worry began to knot in the pit of my stomach.

“Nana, my sunflower…I promise you I am going to be okay. I’m already,” she yawned, “so tired. Go check on Mum. The nurses will watch me, and I’ll make sure we don’t start anything without you.”

“Okay, but I’ll be right back,” I declared. She waved her hand dismissively as she shut her eyes. The medicine they gave her seemed to work pretty quickly; she was out in seconds.

I decided to watch over her for another minute and then grabbed the keys. I left her room and wandered down the stairs to the entrance. As I made my way outside, I walked toward my car, staring at my reflection through the window. My hair was a mess and I was still wearing pajamas. The sudden cancer wasn’t anything I could’ve prepared myself for. Everything went south within a minute.

As I opened the door, I carefully slid into the vehicle before turning on the ignition.

* * *

“Mum!”I shouted out as I walked into our small apartment. All the lights were off, but it was only because our electricity still wasn’t working.

Stepping one foot into the house, I grabbed the gun by the door. There was also a flashlight we kept inside of a drawer that I hurriedly reached for. We were an apartment full ofonlyfemales, aside from that, my mother tended to bring men around like it was nothing. We had all agreed that it would be smart to keep a gun around just in case we needed it to protect ourselves.

One small step after another led me straight to my mother’s room. I knocked softly, and when I didn’t hear any response—I went in. Grabbing better hold of the flashlight, I flicked it on.

A gasp moved past my lips as I ran over to my mother who was passed out on the floor. Her room was a mess and there seemed to have been blood dripping from her nose.

“Oh, my god! Can you hear me?” I shouted, grabbing her face gently. Her mouth moved to form a groan as she nodded her head. I didn’t know what to do.

“Yes, yes, I can hear you,” she whispered. Leaning up, a groan left her lips as her eyes remained shut. Shaking my head, I grabbed my mum and pulled her onto the bed.

It quickly became our normal routine: help her remove her shoes, lay her down on the bed, place the blanket over her body, and leave. Only this time, her room looked like it had been trashed, and she looked like she had been trashed right along with it.

“What did he do to you?” I asked as I began to remove the heels from her feet.

The temperature in the apartment made it challenging to even think straight.

“Who, Dante? Oh, no, nothing, sweetie. He just gets a little rough. I’m sorry I couldn’t get the money this time,” she slurred. I went up to her and tucked her into bed. She was quivering, making me quickly realize she was high. There was never a time that she wasn’t drugged.

“What did you take?” I asked, my voice going robotic.

“Nothing, sweetie. I didn’t take anything…how’s my little girl doing, is Alex okay?” she wondered. It sounded like there was actual concern in her voice, but I knew she wouldn’t remember any of this. So, I settled with a sigh as I ran my hands through her hair. Her body kept shivering as I did so.

“She has cancer, Mum,” I said, a tear falling from my eyes. Mum looked up at me, her eyes were so bloodshot and empty. I had to fight the urge to slap her and scream about how she needed to be there for us. She needed to know that it’s her fault I will never be financially stable because the car, apartment, utility bills, and hospital information were all inmyname—they’re always going to be left unpaid. I wanted to scream that I can’t handle all of this on my own. I needed her to understand that my little sister was necessary for me to besanebecause there was no one else in the world who cared for me as much as my little sister did, not even my own mother.

“I can’t blame you, because then I’d have to blame it on your mother, your mother’s mother, her mother’s mother, and so on. I’d have to blame it on the darkness. Mum, I don’t blame you, but please,” I sobbed as she began to fall asleep in my arms.Please just love us more than those damn drugs.

Anastasia

Ifell asleep in a hard chair right beside Alex’s hospital bed. With a groan, I lifted my head from the palm of my hand as my eyes began to adjust to the light. I could hear my little sister’s voice, but it was just taking my brain a while to process her words.

“Okay, that sounds terrifying,” Alex said. With those words, I immediately snapped out of whatever trance I was in before I looked up at my sister. Her head angled toward me as she shot me a gentle smile. I couldn’t help but notice her cracked lips and the alarming paleness of her skin.

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