Page 6 of Embracing Love

Chapter 3

It was bad enough that his then girlfriend, Francine, had fallen in love with his best friend and had left him. But the fact that she’d taken their son Sébastien, just a toddler then, had been the knife that had dug deep into his heart. It was a wound he still felt to this day, having missed the chance of seeing his son grow up. Hankering for the fleeting visits when he would see his son for short visits had been the only thing that kept Gabriel sane.

He’d never trusted women since that time, and he would never allow himself to become caught up in their spell again.

Henri, his once-best-friend, had then moved to England with Francine, and they later married. Gabriel had to let go of Sébastien, looking forward to trips where he or they would visit, so that he could see his son occasionally.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was something. He lived for those moments, and work and girlfriends, and life filled in the other empty parts of his life.

But this morning’s news was a new low and it had been unfortunate that he’d found out in between his meeting with Tanya Braun. A quick succession of calls had ensued, and when his Francine had called the second time, Sébastien had been with her. Gabriel had been eager to speak to his son. Even if it meant doing so in the middle of the meeting.

But finding out that they were moving to Australia had rocked his core. He’d hated the idea of them moving to England, but now in retrospect, it was a stone’s throw compared to Australia.

They were moving ‘because of Henri’s job’ she’d told him but his mind had already gone to a life without Sébastien. He had done his best, but had never felt it was enough. The frequent trips back and forth during his school holidays had ensured that he wasn’t a total stranger to his son, that they had a bond, even though that bond had begun to weaken as his son grew older.

He knew too well the pain of regret, of how things might have been, of the life he might have had, and increasingly an unsettling feeling had gathered deep in the chambers of his heart, reminding him of the time and love he could never claim back.

He’d loved her but that love had grown gnarled and gangly after her betrayal. The regret he had was for moments lost forever—moments he should have shared with his son. Gabriel often remembered the chubby toddler he’d put to bed, the small child he’d helped with his first wavering tumbling footsteps, the happy little boy he had fed and bathed—these moments that he marvelled at with the confusion and wonderment of a first time parent were bright in his mind even now almost a decade later.

It worried him that the bond with his son, like the memories, would fade over time. It troubled Gabriel more deeply than he cared to admit.

He’d called her back after seeing that Ms. Braun had left his office. When had she? He’d barely heard her leave.

Francine had tried to pacify him. “You can't blame Henri. It was a fantastic opportunity. How could he turn down such a role?” The man had been offered some surgeon type role at a hospital in Sydney.

“Is it permanent?” He needed to know.

“It’s a five-year post. Who knows, we might just settle out there.”

In five years Sébastien would be almost seventeen. Gabriel’s heart dropped to the base of his stomach. How many trips would that be? Maybe once a year if he was lucky. Sébastien would still love him, but Gabriel felt a twinge of jealousy that the already strong enough bond with his stepfather would lessen his own role in time.

Gabriel didn't want the boy to be torn between the two men. It would require a sacrifice on his part—and he had to be willing to let him go.

“When?” he asked, his mind still reeling from the vision of a bleak future.

“You don’t have to sound so angry, Gabriel. These things are difficult to pinpoint. There are so many forms and procedures in place. So many hoops to jump through.”

“Please send Sébastien to me during the summer. At least one final summer.” He didn’t care that he sounded so desperate.

“Nonsense, Gabriel. You make it sound as though we’re never going to see you again.”

Gabriel said nothing and her voice softened. “Of course he can come. He wants to see you before he goes. He loves you very much, you know. He was talking about visiting you and wanting to keep in touch with you.”

He listened. “It doesn't matter how far we are, Gabriel, Sébastien knows you're his father and he loves you. Australia is just a location. Do you think that because we are going that much farther that there will be less chance of seeing him? We will probably make more of an effort to visit.”

Odd that their relationship, so rocky since the split had slowly become one of enduring tolerance. His heart slowly picked itself up off the floor. She was saying the right things to make him feel better. He knew she didn’t want to argue about this decision, and that she wanted his good wishes. She didn’t want his anger to be between them now.

“I didn’t even know you were making plans to move.”

“It might not have worked out. It only felt fair to tell you once everything was finalized. Of course things will move quickly now, because we want everything to be settled for the next school year.”

“It would be better for Sébastien.” He agreed.

And so Gabriel’s day had dragged by in a haze of melancholy. He looked at his diary when there was a knock at the door and his secretary walked in.

“I’m finishing for the day now. Here’s a message I forgot to pass on earlier, I’m sorry. Tanya Braun left it this morning, I must have mislaid it.”

“It’s fine, goodnight.” He let out an angry growl as he re-read the message and considered calling the American woman back. More headache.

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