Page 21 of Reclaiming Love

“To stay or to go?” The barista asked Noah, as he got ready to scoot off and prepare the orders. Noah turned to her instead. “To stay or to go?” The way he said it, with the suggestion dangling delicately in the air, made her stare a second longer at his face, at his eyes, before her gaze dropped down to his lips. It was a touch-and-go moment, where she could either crush his hopes with one word, or strengthen the bonds newly forming.

“Stay.”

“It looks like I’m staying.” He told the barista.

“I’ll get a table.” She took her muffin and coffee and found a table three deep from the front. It wasn’t isolated off in a corner, but still afforded privacy.

Even though Matt never came here, she still didn’t want to risk him seeing her on the freaky off chance he might walk in. She angled her chair anyway, so that she had full view of the comings and goings at the door.

Soon, she would figure things out so that she never had to worry about what Matt thought but getting to that point wasn’t going to be easy.

She watched the guy waiting patiently at the counter, and as she did so, he turned to her and smiled. She felt a flutter somewhere between her stomach and her heart.

The more she saw him, the more she wanted to see him. The more she spoke to him, the more she wanted to get to know him.

It no longer felt strange—because now they’d seen each other more than a couple of times. Enough for it to not feel totally odd. Ever since she’d had that accident with the coffee spilling over her, things had sped up. She seemed to bump into him on most days, and probably because she went to the coffee shop on most days.

After the events of yesterday, spending time with a man whose name she didn’t yet know, but who made her feel good, wasn’t wrong at all.

As she waited, thoughts about Matt resurfaced. Being with him left her feeling more isolated and sadder than being single ever had. At least when she was single she’d never been unhappy. A little lonely sometimes, but that was all. She’d been content with her life, her body, herself.

A relationship was supposed to be the cherry on the top. It was supposed to be the thing that uplifted a person, that drew out the best in them, not destroyed whatever there was.

Her heart dipped at the thought of her and Matt and she felt a dullness drip over her. She didn’t have a good relationship. Because a good relationship was—

“You should have started.” He interrupted her thoughts, brightening her day just by his presence. Pointing his chin at her untouched food, he asked her, “You’re not hungry today?”

She’d been so engrossed in her thoughts, she hadn’t touched her breakfast. She shrugged. “I don’t even know your name,” she said, as he sat down opposite her.

“Noah,” he said, then put out his hand. “I feel we need some kind of introduction.”

“Noah,” she repeated, shaking his hand. It was soft and big and held hers firmly.

Withdrawing their hands they both picked up their cups at the same time and took a sip, briefly appraising one another over the cups.

After a while, he started to unwrap his muffin. “Want to try some?” He held his plate out to her.

“No, thanks. Do you want to try some of this?” She offered him her blueberry muffin.

He shook his head.

Having breakfast with a man she barely knew, but who offered her more comfort than her boyfriend had, was the kind of thing Heather would do without batting an eye. For someone like Melissa, whose middle name might as well have been “cautious,” it was unheard of.

“How come you’re here so early today?”

“I didn’t feel like facing the gym this morning.” She wondered why she’d offered this piece of news to him, given that she’d had no intention of going to the gym at all. But it made more sense to say this than to admit the truth. That she needed to think carefully about how she was going to dump her boyfriend.

“The gym? That’s where you go in the mornings?” He sounded impressed. “You’re dedicated, I’ll give you that.” His eyes twinkled and she admired once again his remarkably long eyelashes.

“I usually go…” She hesitated, not wanting to mention anything about Matt. “And then I’m done by eight.”

“Impressive.”

“It’s early for you too,” she suggested, suddenly needing to know why he’d come at this time and the reason behind his smart appearance. “Are you sure you’re not stalking me?” He grinned.

“If I stalked you, you wouldn’t be aware of it.” She raised an eyebrow back, while at the same time wondering if he had a girlfriend.

But until she thought things through and told Matt, she still had a boyfriend. Technically. And one that she’d neglected to mention. Deliberately.

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