Page 20 of Reclaiming Love

Chapter 11

After a miserable night that had her tossing on the edges of battered sleep, Melissa set off for work early the next day—at the time she would have left if she was going to meet Matt at the gym.

Except this morning she had no intentions of going anywhere near the gym. Or meeting him.

Pinned down on the bed, his hand in her panties.She clutched the strap of her bag tighter, irritation gnawing at her insides as she relived the images, on continuous play inside her head. The taste of bitterness in her mouth made her nauseous.

“Hey.”

She stopped short of the coffee shop and stared straight into soft eyes. He’d come. Her insides did a backwards somersault and at the same time a feeling of relief, of lightness, of something comforting warmed her all over.

“Hi,” she replied, wishing she could hide. She knew she looked like death warmed over and as much as her fluttering stomach indicated her excitement at seeing him, she would have preferred to have been better prepared.

“You’re early,” he stated, as though this was normal, as though they’d arranged to meet.

It’s early for you, she thought.

If she was being honest with herself, then she would admit that a part of her had unconsciously sought him out. Now, as he stood in front of her, in the flesh, she wished she’d used extra under-eye concealer and done a “Heather” with her makeup.

He would notice something was up. But she’d learned to hide and disguise, and she could easily put on a performance once more.

“So are you.” She offered him a smile, at the same time wondering what he was doing here at this hour. She was used to running into him closer to eight once she’d finished at the gym. For a quick second, her thoughts briefly flashed to Matt at the gym, and, just as quickly, she pushed the image right out of her mind, like a splinter needing quick removal.

“You’re not noting down my times are you?” he asked, not breaking the eye contact.

“No.” She released a laugh at the suggestion. Not on paper, she thought, and took in his appearance. He looked smarter than usual and she wondered what the reason behind that might be. Wondered whether he might be meeting someone after work.

“It’s good to see you.”

It is?She analyzed his words, dared to imagine that he meant them rather than said them for the sake of making polite conversation.

“We must stop meeting like this,” she said. And then regretted her words instantly. “I mean, in the line, or outside, like now.”

“Shall we go inside?”

“It would make sense, wouldn’t it?” She giggled, her heart starting to pound as she felt a spark of happiness. He moved aside to let her pass first. She stepped briskly inside the coffee shop and welcomed the rush of warmth that wrapped her up like a blanket.

Inside it was uncharacteristically calm and empty. There was no line and only two tables were occupied. Melissa turned to him as they stood politely in line. He smiled back and then she saw his gaze shift to the empty tables.

She’d come early today because she’d wanted to spend time alone, thinking things through—away from Heather at home and away from the confines of work where Matt threatened to appear at any time and where she knew she’d be so busy she’d barely have time to sit, let alone sit and do nothing.

But with this guy here those plans vanished. The appeal of talking to him was greater and her initial plans were discarded as easily as a silk scarf.

But how could she get him to stay without sounding desperate? She placed her order and on the spur of the moment she added the words ‘To have here” and hoped that would do it.

“Not ‘to go’ today?” He looked at her in a way that made it hard for her to look away.

“It’s quiet. I need quiet today.” But in so carefully explaining her reasoning she had unwittingly told him that she wanted to be alone.

“Oh,” he looked crestfallen. “I could have stayed a while, but if you want to be alone—” He paused and she could feel his hesitation as much as she could sense her own. She couldn’t tell for sure, but she had a hunch that maybe he wanted to sit and talk too. His pause gave her reason to think that he found circumnavigating these waters as tricky as she did.

I did want to be alone, but not anymore.

Did he look forward to seeing her? Were his days made brighter because he’d run into her at the start of his morning? She never knew, and that was half the excitement and the frustration of it all.

It was also her release from the murky thoughts that she often found herself in, when things with Matt caused her pain.

“Then stay a while, why don’t you?” she suggested, pushing her hair behind her ears, as a dizzying feeling, not unlike the slow, heady trek up a rollercoaster ride, made her a little light-headed. She waited for his answer.

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