Page 123 of An Indecent Longing

Chapter Eleven

“Ben, what the hell are you still doing here?”

With bleary eyes, Ben looked toward the door of his office Wednesday night. Adam stood there, leaning a shoulder against the frame, eyebrows raised. Then Ben looked at the time on his monitor.

Nine p.m.

“Shit. Must’ve lost track of time.” He stood, stretching muscles that protested the two hours he’d spent without moving anything other than his hands. “What’s your excuse?”

“Late call from Japan.” Adam nodded toward his monitor. “I didn’t realize you had a case that required digging into organized crime in Philadelphia.”

Busted.Ben held Adam’s gaze through sheer force of will. “I don’t. This is personal.”

“Yeah, no shit.” With a sigh, Adam walked into the room and dropped into the chair on the other side of Ben’s desk. “You think it’s a good idea, sticking your nose in Antonoff’s business?”

“If it helps keep Dorrie safe? Yes.”

Adam grimaced. “I get it. You find anything?”

Ben started to grin. “Yeah, actually, I did.”

Sitting forward, Adam’s eyes widened. “Seriously? I just figured the guy’s body hadn’t been found floating in the Schuylkill yet. But you found him alive?”

“As of two hours ago, yeah, Tosto was still alive.”

It’d taken almost every second that he hadn’t spent on actual work for the firm for the past three days to do it, but finally Ben had found the man who’d blown apart their relationship with Dorrie.

He was good at running targets to ground, didn’t matter if they were in some godforsaken shithole in Kabul or a back alley in South Philly. The Army had trained him well. It’s why he had had all those fricking medals on his uniform.

Leaning back in the chair, Adam shook his head. “So what are you gonna do with the intel?”

This is where it got sticky. “I’m not sure yet.”

“You tell Ian?”

Ben grimaced, couldn’t help it. “No. He’s been a little…”

“Like a block of ice with a face?”

Ben huffed out a laugh. “You noticed?”

“Christ, who didn’t? Mary Alice is ready to beat him over the head with her keyboard.” Adam paused. “Is he okay? Before you guys joined us, I know he’d had some issues.”

Yeah, issues including insomnia, nightmares, and an emotional disconnect that’d made him act like a fucking zombie, something Ben had stupidly thought Dorrie would help with.

Turns out, Ben had just made things worse.

“Honestly?” Ben shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“Does it have to do with your relationship with Dorrie? You wanna talk about it? With…you know…someone who actually gets the dynamics?”

It was on the tip of Ben’s tongue to say no. For years, it’d been just him and Ian. Yeah, they’d both had teams they’d worked with, other men they’d trusted with their lives. But this was different. This was emotional, relationship stuff that even he and Ian hadn’t discussed.

And maybe never would.

“I’m not sure there is a thing with Dorrie anymore. And honestly…” Ben shook his head. “I’m not sure I was ever more than an extra body.”

There. He’d said it. The thought that’d been going through his mind since she’d walked out their door Sunday.

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