Page 124 of An Indecent Longing

Adam’s gaze narrowed. “Did she make you feel like that?”

Ben opened his mouth to answer then shut it just as fast and thought about his answer. “No. I think…it’s more that she knew Ian first. Maybe I feel like I was just a way for her to get close to Ian.”

“Did you actually tell her how you felt? Or ask her what she wanted? I don’t know her all that well but she seems like she doesn’t talk much and then only when she really means it.”

Their first date came to mind. Hell, their only date, less than two weeks ago. He started to shake his head. “Christ, I just met her last week. There’s no way I should be this invested.”

Adam’s mouth split in a smile and he started to laugh. “Man, you sound like me. You and I have a lot more in common than you think. Did you know Tris had been in love with Kat for years? They grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same school. She had no idea who I was when she met me but she had a relationship with Tris. Yeah, it fucked with my head for a while, too. Especially since I took one look at her and decided I wanted her.”

Ben’s gaze narrowed. “How’d you get over it?”

“Some of that’s on you. You gotta trust that when she says she wants you both, she means it. Yeah it’s a leap of faith but it’s worth every ounce of anguish when it works. And it helps when you trust the other guy in the relationship with your life and with her life. As far as I can tell, you and Ian already have that. Sometimes it’s tough to stick together though. And if she tries to throw a wedge between you or play you off one another, then it’s not gonna work. Ever. Any of that make sense?”

Smiling, Ben nodded. “Yeah, actually, it did.”

“Good. Now what the hell are you going to do with that intel? Because if you go after Tosto yourself, you’re going to put yourself in the middle of something you don’t want to be in the middle of.”

Ben already knew that. “So what do you suggest I do with it?”

Adam grimaced. “Something Ian’s probably gonna hate.”

* * * * *

From the couch, Ian saw Ben walk through the front door of their home and head straight for him, his expression set with purpose.

Ben had worked late every day since Dorrie had left. And Ian had deliberately kept his distance. The time apart had given him breathing room, time to calm down. And too damn much time to think.

Because when he let himself drift, he thought about Dorrie. About how much he missed her, how much he still wanted her.

He wondered if she was okay. Did she miss them? Or hate them? He wondered if Ben had been in touch with her.

And then he wondered why the hell he was thinking about her because he’d screwed any chance he had of a relationship with her.

Ben knew it, too, and Ian had felt the distance between them like a frigid river that divided them. He fucking hated it.

And he didn’t know what to say, how to tell Ben he was sorry. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what the hell he was sorry for.

Now, Ben came to a stop directly in front of him so he had to either acknowledge his presence or move so he could see the TV.

“What’s up?”

Ben nodded toward the door. “Let’s go. I found Tosto.”

He had to stop himself from grabbing his gun and saying he’d drive. “And what does that have to do with us?”

“It means Adam already called Antonoff to let him know we were coming over so I could fill him in and then we’re going to check on Dorrie.”

Any mention of Antonoff’s name still made Ian want to rip the guy’s head off but that initial urge was mixed with pain and anger. All because of Dorrie.

So he concentrated on the one thing he could focus on. “Why aren’t we going directly to Tosto to blow his head off?”

That’s how life happened sometimes. Bad guys died. Ben had killed a few. Ian had killed more than a few.

Ben’s gaze remained steady. “Because that’s not our job. Our job is making sure Dorrie’s safe.”

Yes. No.

“Are you really prepared to cross this line?” Ian had to ask. “Because once you do, that line will keep moving until you’re not sure where it should be. You get in bed with Antonoff and we may never get out.”

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